Don't Ask, Don't Tell. But, I can't keep my mouth shut.

Back from a hiatus of blogging about the nothingness of the world. What was I doing? Good question. Aside from spending my weekends in a couch-coma watching reruns of General Hospital and One Life to Live on Soap Net (Channel 120) and toggling back and forth to old cycles of America's Next Top Model, I was basically doing nothing. Sure, I was attempting to mow the lawn. For the record, that's the actual lawn outside my house. Not the, well...yeah.

Alrighty, so what do I talk about? I have so much to say especially since I've been in a virtual TV-Food-Work coma for the past month and a half.

So, the Pennsylvania Primary happened. Watching the results on CNN (but really FoxNews) was basically the only worthwhile thing I watched. I'll admit that I started the campaign season, if you will, stomping for McCain. Yes, I am a log-cabin republicano. If the economy sucks, why get married? What should be the first thing on your mind is: how you gonna pay for your food, bitch? That's not the only reason. I want to own a gun.

As the weeks grew and I researched, I've become (yes) an Obama supporter. My friends who say I'm a closet Nazi may find that funny. Again, for the record, I'm not a closet Nazi. Nor, am I an out-of-the-closet Nazi. I'm not a Nazi. Nor is Obama. Do I have proof of this? No. Do you? Can you prove you're not a Nazi? "Oh, but I have several Jewish friends..." Yea, yea.

Of the two democratic nominees, he doesn't have the convoluted idea that you can just take thousands and thousands of troops out of a war that we started and say "Oops, sorry, our bad." The predecessor screwed up and that's what 's for lunch. So eat it.

A similar note on the war is Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Wikipedia can explain it for you ignoramuses.

"Don't ask, don't tell" is the common term for the U.S. military policy which implements Pub.L. 103-160 (10 U.S.C. § 654). Unless one of the numerous exceptions from 10 U.S.C. § 654(b) applies, the policy prohibits anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because it "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability." The act prohibits any homosexualbisexual person from disclosing his or her sexual orientation, or from speaking about any homosexual relationships, including marriages or other familial attributes, while serving in the United States armed forces. The policy also requires that as long as gay or bisexual men and women in the military hide their sexual orientation, commanders are not allowed to investigate their sexuality. The net effect of this policy is that the military does not take an official stance against gay or bisexual desire; one must engage in open homosexual acts to commit a punishable offense.

My favorite part of this: "demonstrating a propenite to engage in homosexual acts..."

Do I agree with this? Of course not. I have my own reason and that's because I thought of joining the Air Force in High School, but then decided to go to college. Now I'm seriously considering it. But look at me. Can I even remotely pass for a straight person? Gay men even think I'm a gay man.

Also, according to the Government Accountability Office enforcing this rule costs $95.1 million for training replacements for the 9,488 troops discharged from 1994 through 2003.

Wait. Hold on. Rewind for a slight segway. Our government has an accountability office? Meaning...there is an office holding our government accountable for something? That's what it sounds like. I'll wiki it later.

For a couple of years I've been reading up on this homophobic policy and it's mostly (through the grapevine, I am by no means a reliable military source) the upper echelon that supports the policy. The troops going out on the front line don't care who you bone or lick. They care about whether you're going to have their back. I guess this is what Bill Clinton had in mind: No one should care. But, now, the policy has turned into a "If you're not straight, you have no sexuality."
To retire from the armed forces you must serve 20 years. You must be government property for 20 years. Then, you get health benefits for yourself, your HETEROSEXUAL spouse, your heterosexually conceived children and their maybe heterosexually conceived children. If you're a (shhh) homosexual, your non-legal spouse (or domestic life partner, sorry) isn't recognized. Your artificial children don't benefit. Plus, gay people aren't allowed to reproduce because then we pass on our (shhh) gay blood onto our most likely gay children. Being an army wife is hard enough. Being the secret army (shhh) lover-who-you-cant-marry would be even harder.

Also, what bugs me...is that the government relaxes this policy during times of warfare. Damn, we're running out of straight people, bring in people who have convictions. Ok, damn, felons can't be trusted on the front line. FINE. Enlist the homosexuals.

I don't get it. If I was Iraq, I would be mad frightened of Rosie O'Donnell coming at me with an M16. She would be running at you. She can't fit in a tank.

What does this have to do with Obama? He (shhh) promises or pledges to reinstate those who have received a Dishonorable Discharge because they choose to be exactly and only who they truly are. He (shhhh) promises or pledges to get rid of this rule.

Does he want the gay vote? Probably. Should we give it to him? I am.