Discover the Experience...

Can the Jackson Family surprise us anymore? Seriously. It's as if Michael Jackson's own Neverland Ranch didn't leave us with enough crazy to last us a lifetime. What could possibly top Elephant remains and pedophilia all in one venue?

In Nigeria, Marlon Jackson decided to try to outshine his flamboyant brother. I think he wins. It's just my personal opinion.

According to the Guardian, he is starting up a Slavery Theme Park along with a museum dedicated to the Jackson 5. Yes, because Nigeria doesn't have problems of government infrastructure and oil corruption. Nigerians can now spend their non-existent leisure money to go "Discover the Experience" of Slavery. IN AFRICA! What the hell!?

"The Jackson family had been looking for a place to site their memorabilia collection," explained Gary Loster, chief executive of the Motherland Group, to the BBC. "We visited the site of the slave port in Badagry and Marlon turned to me and said: 'Let's put it here, this is right.'"

Jesus. This is worse than Jesus Land (or something like that).

The developers' plans, which include a lifesize replica of a slave ship, holograms of the Jackson Five and robot versions of 18th-century African musicians, are not without their opponents.

I'm speechless.

Why put a theme park about slavery in Africa? That's like putting a theme park dedicated to the IMF and the World Bank in Africa. We should put it in Arkansas or North Dakota where no one has seen a person of color. It should be in the Bible Belt. Africans have had enough of repression and enslavement. Honestly.

Wait. Why? Just...why? I don't think anyone needs a Slavery "Theme Park." The phrase theme park was not my idea. I would have said Museum...or...Memorial...or Burial Place...

The point of an amusement park is joy, wisdom and relaxation. Just saying.