Bougie Central

The End is Near?

2010-05-27T17:51:00.001-04:00

Earthquakes, oil spills, a third Twilight movie...

The end must be near. Right? Ok, I'm not going to lie. I'm a little bit excited to watch the third Twilight movie.

Anyway, that's not the point of this entry at all. Did anyone notice that there has been another 6.0+ earthquake? This time in Vanuatu. In case you're a typical American, Vanuatu is located in the South Pacific right to the East of Australia. Now, earthquakes are no longer news (at least in my opinion). I mean, we have a freakin oil spill that just needs to be plugged up and I think if the "Top Kill" method fails, BP is going to start sinking lower-level management employees down there with anchors attached to their ankles.

I think these things are horrible. So horrible.

However, there is a bright side. Natural disasters tend to bring out the idiots that think they know about everything. They're really funny. People that are actually smart are boring. So, I went on CNN.com and other news sites to see what the masses were saying. I will say that there are intelligent people out there, but once again...not interesting enough for me.

Here are a couple examples:

Last time I checked...it's a country, right? American middle schools and high schools don't have enough geography in their curriculum. Remember this lady from the USAmerica pageant? and stuff...

The worst part is that I think I know who wrote this next one.

And then there's nothing like a far away war between two Asian countries to bring out the crazy Bush supporters.

If I recall correctly, South Korea doesn't have a bunch of "Chinese people." Again with the geography and culture studies...it's important!

Oh. And did you hear that the medical cutting female genitalia is no longer going to be practiced? Sweet. I leave you with this last comment. Personally, as a lesbian, I don't quite understand the foreskin or lack of foreskin issue.

The internet is a very bizarre "world."

sOccket: Harnessing the Power of Soccer?

2010-05-05T19:00:00.001-04:00

I'm currently writing the last paper of my undergraduate career. It's about the 2010 World Cup in South Africa and how this mega event has the opportunity to transform South Africa's economy, social services, and political landscape. We can only wish that everything they wish for will come true.

So, while I was doing my nifty research, I came across the MOST amazing thing I have EVER heard of. Wait for it...

You kick a soccer ball, right? While I'm not an engineer or physicist, I do know that it takes a certain amount of energy to do so. The energy is transferred from your body to the soccer ball and then is "lost to the environment." What a waste, especially when we're fighting wars for oil all over the globe and British Petroleum has only just now plugged up one of the three leaks in the Gulf.
Four women (or girls) came up with a brilliant idea. Why not harness this energy? Kick the ball around (a lot) during a soccer game. Take the ball home and power your computer, charge your phone, or for South Africa...provide power for light bulbs instead of kerosene lamps. Am I dreaming? Nope.

This freaking brilliant invention is already in the prototype phase and being tested out in South Africa and Kenya. It's called the sOccket. I'm not joking.

I want one. I'm sick and tired of paying my electric bills or paying for gas so I can drive my car. Instead...I could just stick a bunch of soccer balls into the hood of my car. Nice doing business with you Exxon and BP, but you can leave now.

With 95% of the African continent living off the electric grids, this new invention is the first step to providing them with cheap and efficient electrical power. GENIUS! Brilliant!

Fired for Obama?

2010-04-09T21:26:00.000-04:00

Let me make it very clear that it is highly ILLEGAL to terminate the employment of someone solely based on how he or she voted.

Someone going by the username dermdoc posted on a Texas A&M discussion board flaunting that they fired "their first Obama voter today."

Are you kidding me? I wonder who this is. Hmm. Is it a dermatologist at Texas A&M who just had to fire people? Well then, policemen, you have your man. Let me see if I can narrow the search down for you.

Here's my list of potential suspects:

Clinical Assistant Professor of Dermatology at the College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical services - Adam P. Patterson

Professor and Chair at Scott & White Healthcare, David F. Butler, MD

Professor, Immunodermatology, Ronald Grimwood, MD

Associate Professor, Howard Steinman, MD

Assistant Professor, David Bennett, MD

Assistant Professor, Katherine Fiala, MD

Also, how did one ascertain whether or not this person voted for Obama? If I were to put myself in the shoes of the ignoramus, I can think of one rather racist way of profiling for this purpose. I wouldn't be surprised if the fired employee were African-American or LGBT.

Stand Up. Take the Lead.

2010-04-03T16:08:00.008-04:00

Last December, in a seemingly last ditch effort to preserve our planet, Presidents, premieres, emissaries, and the press corps descended upon Copenhagen. Their goal was to come up with a plan - a plan to combat “the bulk of climate-altering pollution.” Like most international conferences, the powerful (the United States) met with the less powerful developed countries (Mexico and others). Up until just recently, the Western world had been responsible for the bulk of the climate crisis. Their industrialized urban centers, 24mph gas guzzling Hummers, and total disregard for the environment appears to finally have illuminated a tiny light bulb in the heads of its leaders – for a short time at least. According to a February 1 New York Times article by John M. Broder, entitled “Countries Submit Emission Goals,” participants of the Copenhagen talks formally submitted their emission reduction plans. They barely met the submission deadline they had set for themselves earlier at the conference. Broder reported that “most major nations restated earlier pledges to curb emissions by 2020.” However, no single uniform plan has emerged (as of yet). Let’s keep our fingers crossed that this will come out soon.

Broder noted that “the so-called Copenhagen Accord was pasted together in the final hours of the UN-sponsored climate summit meeting that ended Dec. 19. The skeletal agreement was not formally adopted by the conference, is not binding on the parties and sets no deadline for reaching a formal international climate change treaty.” The problem with these international accords is that in the end they mean close to nothing to the countries that are truly in charge. By setting no formal deadline and making this preliminary agreement non-binding, what incentive do world leaders have to incorporate the plans for progress made on the climate change front into binding legislation at home? For the sake of clarity and relevance, let us stay focused on the United States’ track record when it pertains to international “promises.” After Copenhagen, the United States and President Obama promised to cut emissions “in the range of” 17 percent by 2010 compared with 2005 levels. The catch is that this will only go into effect if Congress enacts legislation meeting that goal. According to Broder, this is a “far-from-certain prospect.” History tells us that this will not happen anytime soon or without a fierce battle within the different branches of Congress.

The United States believes that it stands to lose nothing by following its own path – a belief that has persisted throughout its history. Our experience with the Kyoto Protocol taught us this lesson. This country has a long history of a “we are better than the rest” mentality. Congress shirks at the opportunity to follow the rest of the world. Of the countless United Nations resolutions, the United States has vetoed nearly all of them, such as the Convention on the Rights of the Child. In fact, the Constitution practically disallows for any binding international agreement. The United States enjoys the privilege of choosing its own global agenda. The United States Constitution’s Article 6 states that “this Constitution and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby.” Thus one finds a clause that has the potential to supersede any notion of U.S. sovereignty. If it were to ratify and sign a treaty on climate change mitigation, the United States, its Constitution, the States, and the American people would become beholden to an alien force with the jurisdiction to govern it. By not signing treaties, the United States can abstain from ratification while still mostly complying with the international agreements. However, this creates a situation where one of the world’s leaders is not being held accountable to its promises.

What does the United States stand to lose by continuing along its historical path as lone ranger (if one can still call it a ranger)? It stands to be seen, once again, as a bully without setting any tangible positive examples for the rest of the world. If the United States wants to maintain its position as a global power, it must also learn to play well with others. Lesser developed countries have already pledged emission cuts in addition to implementing other climate controlling mechanisms, such as green-growth programs and national standards for higher-efficiency building codes. They have even begun to follow through on their promises. South Korea, for example, has pledged to invest two percent of its Gross Domestic Product, amounting to about $86 billion a year, in programs such as those mentioned above. Compare those figures to the pledges of the “wealthy nations.” They pledged nearly $30 billion, according to Broder’s article.

These figures mainly reflect short-term goals. However, looking ahead to 2020, which Copenhagen sought to accomplish, short-term is not going to be good enough. Climate change is not waiting for us to fight it. We need to act quickly, decisively, and with a unified front. The United States needs to catch up with the rest of the world. Green energy, growth, and jobs are shaping up to be the next economic frontier. With South Korea pledging $86 billion every year and other countries with “lesser standings” pledging similar amounts, the United States will end up lagging behind an expanding economy. With its technological comparative advantage, the United States has the opportunity to use its knowledge, means, and manpower to become the leader in mitigating climate change. It could take another Copenhagen to provide another wake-up call to Congress and the American people. However, if Congress does not act fast, it will surely lose out. Sooner or later, the United States will find itself following instead of leading – a position its leaders would probably not like to find themselves in.

It's a conspiracy theory

2009-07-27T09:56:00.006-04:00

It's been a month since MJ's death. Now that I'm done mourning, I'm out of my funk and ready to blog again. Ok, it wasn't actually that debilitating for me, but I was indeed upset. Anyway...

How stupid is the Right Wing? That's been a question on people's minds since the dawn of time. Just how stupid are they!? Here are a few examples:

Have you ever heard of the Birthers? I hadn't. There was a full page piece on it in POLITICO today. When I first saw this headline: "GOP Headache: The Birther Issue," I was utterly confused. Who is giving birth? It's nothing like that. It's a growing Republican / Right Wing constituency that truly and utterly believe that Obama is an illegitimate president. Say what you want about the economy and health care (those aren't important issues). The real issue is where he was born. These "Birthers" don't believe Obama was born in the United States despite many a reassurances from the Hawaiian state and Honolulu governments. They are trying to get him out of office this way. Good luck, idiots. You're so ridiculously stupid. These are the people that make me ashamed to be an American because I'm put in the same boat with them.

Am I not an American? I was born in New Mexico which some people believe to be a state in Mexico. I was once asked if I was an international student. Idiots. I've lived in Austria, Holland, and South Korea. Obama was born in Hawaii which to some may seem like a territory of Japan and he has lived in Indonesia. People are just stupid.

These people are serious. They're moving to cosponsor the Birther's Bill. This movement is led by no other idiot than Dr. Orly Taitz (That's right...a doctor).

Stay away from my open heart surgery in 50 years. Oh wait, she'll be dead by then. There's a website called ObamaNotQualified.com. Stupid.

There is a surging rate of unemployment and the health care battle is still in full swing. These idiots are distracting their politicians from doing their actual job. And, if this bill were (by some act of unholiness) it wouldn't apply to Obama anyway. It's too late. Dr Orly, please redirect your energy to updating your hairdo.

I've decided to take a breather and continue this rant on Right Wing Conspiracy Theories another day...

RIP Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T19:20:00.003-04:00

The world has lost a tremendous artist, performer, singer, and voice.
Pop has lost its King.

August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

Unbelievable.

Heterosketchy Census Bureau

2009-06-09T11:53:00.004-04:00

On second thought, I forgot that I had been wanting to blog about this:

The US Census happens every ten years. Every decade. So, we only have a one in ten years opportunity to try and change the way the Census is taken. It's a very important tool and I'm not advocating to discard it, since that would be way too libertarian. (I've denounced my libertarianism anyway.)

Say you're from Massachusetts. You're a lesbian couple and have recently been married. In 2010, you will rebel and check the appropriate boxes to show that you're a lesbian couple. The Census computers will automatically UNMARRY you. This is inaccurate. Marriage is legal in Massachusetts (I shouldn't have picked a hard one to spell). So, automatically unmarrying a LEGALLY MARRIED COUPLE is misrepresentative. It's more than that. It's bullshit.

Go HERE to learn more and try to change that!
Go HERE to learn more and try to change that!
Go HERE to learn more and try to change that!
Go HERE to learn more and try to change that!
Go HERE to learn more and try to change that!

Summer of Insensitivity

2009-06-09T11:26:00.009-04:00

Summer is here. Or, global warming is here. We should def have a season called the "Warmer Season." It's warmer than summer and cooler than the sun (barely).

Aside from waking up at 6AM this morning to the craziest lightning/thunder show I have seen since my days in New Mexico, Washington DC is burning hot. I sat on a bench yesterday and nearly lit my ass on fire. Oh, she's in DC again. Here comes another post about Raku. NO! Wrong. Although I did go to Raku last Monday with SB and it was divine.

Started my internship with People for the American Way Foundation. I'm finally working with progressive activists. The atmosphere is so different than when I work at the Medical Clinic reserved solely for the Army.

There's a lot to discuss here and I can't quite decide what I'm going to talk about. There's Sotomayor, there's the health care reform bill. Consequently, there are the Kennedy and Byrd health problems that I could discuss but that would be insensitive.

Ergo...

I've been watching 30 Rock with Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. Hilarious. I basically LOL'd every five minutes.
I hope that Alec Baldwin (who happens to be on the Board of Directors for PFAW) is actually like that in real life. If not, then I'd be slightly bored. Love it. It makes me forgive the insensitive remark about Filipino Mail-Order Brides that he made a month or so ago. Oh wait, that would make me insensitive. Might I add that he's mentioned Filipino women at least twice in the first season.

Schedule Note: DC Pride is this weekend. If you're here, go. Holler at me and we could have a gay old time.

Hello Kitty Interview

2009-05-29T21:02:00.002-04:00

Hello Kitty did an interview on ABC today (formerly a respectable network). She has no mouth. This is ridiculous. You say Hello Kitty and the Puss isn't going to say hi back.

But, I do ask that you check out this video and lose respect for the women in it. Not just the one in the Hello Kitty costume, but the one standing next to her AND the one conducting the interview.

WATCH IT HERE! WATCH IT HERE!

Bittersweet Defeat

2009-05-26T21:01:00.002-04:00

Mark this day. It is May 26, 2009. Where were you around 1:30pm (EST)? Where were you when real life citizens of the United States decided that your "life choice" is subpar, or that your very existence is subpar, or that you are a subpar human being?

On November 4, 2008, Californians decided that their neighbors, their hairdressers, their actors, their wedding planners, their caterers, their sons and daughters, their poodles, their flight attendants, musicians, lawyers, doctors, etc were subpar.

Today, the rest of the nation waited for the California Supreme Court's decision on the matter of same-sex marriage and what to do with those same-sex couples that had the foresight to get married when they were given the chance. California always used to be that nice big blue state on the map come election night. It was the one that we could always count on. Elected justices decided the fate of tens of thousands (not including the closeted ones). They decided whether they would stay in their home state, or whether they would even fathom the option of raising children. That's right. Lesbians and gays can raise children to be upstanding citizens unlike yourselves. Until Proposition 8 can be overturned, my dreams of living on the Pacific Ocean just a stone throw away from Sunset Boulevard are to be shelved.

Gays are attacking marriage. Yup, partner, that's exactly what we're doing by fighting to have it. If anything, we are complimenting "Marriage." Marriage is so hot that everyone wants a piece of that fine ass (That may have been a slight attack. My bad.) The only "thing" being attacked here is us.

Governor Schwarzenegger is asking President Obama for some of that bailout money. Hmm. I don't blame him for trying to get a handout of that multi-billion dollar pot. What would solve California's problems however is suddenly allowing tens of thousands of couples to marry. The wedding industry is gargantuan. It's caterers, dresses, venues, alcohol, and licenses. It's registering at Pottery Barn and/or Gucci (I wish). Come on, Governator, the gays would give you a huge sum of our indispensable income. The economy will flourish. Everyone will be happy. Gays won't be out sabotaging heterosexual weddings by botching up the bride's gowns or the catered meals. Watch out. We're coming for ya.

**If you haven't learned anything today, just try to remember that an angry homosexual is a homosexual to be reckoned with.

Never Have I Ever...

2009-04-13T15:54:00.004-04:00

"Never have I ever..." had sex in a car. You all can drink up. Was the car moving? Sure you've probably received some action...but would you drive on a high-speed highway and have sex with your lover on your lap? Drink up, you idiot.

In Norway, police chased a car that appeared to be swerving and suspected it to be a case of driving under the influence. Little did they know that the driver was bumping uglies with his girlfriend / wife / partner. The police then continued to videotape the incident "as evidence." Right. Anyway, that's not the point.

This is what social darwinism is all about. Slap me if I'm too harsh, but they should have crashed into the median. These two dumb-asses should not be allowed to reproduce.

Planes, Canada, and Jerky

2009-04-07T11:50:00.002-04:00

CNN reported today that some wacko from Canada stole a plane. That's amazing. It's pretty hard...I would imagine. That is unless it's from a flight school...in Canada. Canada is so lax. Canada is weaponless. Canada is awesome.

This guy proceeded to enter the United States (avoiding Urban areas). Madison, WI was evacuated for like less than an hour (was it worth the fright?).

He then made his way into a Convenient Store (without the plane). Didn't have enough money for beef jerky (you stole a plane. you can't steal jerky?) so he sat down and waited for the cops. This guy is a loser.

Asian Glow

2009-03-24T15:38:00.002-04:00

Are you Asian? More than 14 million Americans identify as Asian and/or Asian-American. So listen up...or read.

You probably go out drinking. You probably have one drink and turn red. Am I right? Tell me I'm right.

Well this, for you Caucasians out there, is not because we're embarrassed or "hot for you." It's because of an enzyme deficiency.

According to the New York Times, "the deficiency results in problems in metabolizing alcohol, leading to an accumulation in the body of a toxin called acetaldehyde. People with two copies of the gene responsible have such unpleasant reactions that they are unable to consume large amounts of alcohol. This aversion actually protects them against the increased risk for cancer."

Shit. Cancer. I thought it was just funny. But, it's not funny.

Wow. This was a serious one. For the next ones, I will give a dose of non-serious.

Goals for the month of April

2009-03-17T16:55:00.002-04:00

March came and went. Honestly. I did not see it coming. I also can't believe it's almost gone. I'm going to relax and indulge during the month of April. It's probably a bad idea since I'm looking for a job for the summer. Oh well.

For the past 2 hours, I've been at the LGBT Center desk planning an aKDPhi dinner and my mouth has not stopped salivating.

My top 5 Restaurant choices for the month of April (starting now...I know it's only March 17) are:

Tinto
Le Castagne
Twenty Manning (because the guy sounded nicely Asian on the phone)
Distrito (because I have heard horrible things and want to find out for myself).
Meritage (the reviews I found were quite intriguing. For instance, I want to have dinner in my "Aunt's house". Odd people.)

We'll see how this plan holds up. Who wants to join?

fried calamari is my weakness

2009-03-15T21:14:00.008-04:00

On Wednesday, VG and I were peddling QPenn flyers all around the Philly Gayborhood. Naturally we were exhausted and I suggested going to one of my favorite restaurants: Valanni. The cuisine is French Mediterranean and it's oh so delish.

Of course when it comes to alcohol and they are mojitos on the menu, that's what I get.

I love that stick of sugar cane. I don't know of another place that does that in Philly. I have yet to find it. If it turns out that I've made a mistake on this one, my bad. I probably just didn't remember. Waste.

VG ordered the Trio of Spreads because he's vegan like that. It's basically grilled pita bread with Hummus, Tirokafteri, and Muhammara. (Price: $9)

KT who is vegetarian like that ordered a salad. It wasn't just any salad though. It was a whole lettuce head with roasted veggies stuffed into it. According to the menu (because all I remember is a big veggie on a plate) her order included: Polenta croutons, Manchego, Bacon (she got it without the bacon), Chipotle Caesar dressing. And, KT had to cut it herself, but I think it was cool. Too bad KT started slicing it before I could take a picture. She must have been really hungry because she's vegetarian like that. Her Grilled Romaine Salad cost her $10.

Man, where's the meat?Fried Calamari is my favorite part of any meal, especially at Valanni's. The calamari were fried in a cashew crust and dipped in a sauce-concoction of chipotle-horse radish aioli, lemon, and parsley.

Yum.

Too bad Valanni is participating in Philadelphia's $5 Foie Gras Week by Chef's for Choice. I did not know this. I actually remember the three of us thinking that Valanni took Foie Gras off the menu and thus believed that my fave establishment was not participating. Damn it.

Facebook hookups?

2009-03-11T15:27:00.008-04:00

Facebook. It's not exactly Manhunt.com or the bathroom of Woody's. But, as I was perusing my facebook friends, I was trying to narrow it down to my friends from other schools in the Philadelphia area. If you look closely at this screen shot, there is no such option.

Now, if I wanted "Housemates" or "Coursemates," I would be set. Even "Hookups" are a filter option on facebook. Gross. I mean, I'm one to talk, but still. I wish Gmail would do that for me.

That way I could just e-mail them all at once.

I wish facebook had a category like "Backup One-Night Stand Possibilities" or "Friends with Adderall." Those would be useful to many more facebookers than you could imagine.

P.S.: The drop down box is hiding my friend count. In case you were wondering, 1295. Thank you, very much. That's more than JH. ;-)

a long walk for a bagel and hippies

2009-03-11T12:03:00.009-04:00

Sunday, VG calls me up and says "I'm headed a little bit West to check out this cute little cafe. Wanna join me?" It's Spring Break and I'm stuck on campus, so I say yes. 50th and Baltimore. This better be good.

While we're walking, we discuss the book that I'm reading, "A Prayer for a City," and how the houses look a little more dilapidated as we go farther West. Le sigh.

We arrive at the corner of 50th and Baltimore. I was secretly hoping that we were actually going into the Dock Street Brewery. After all it was 6pm and I was ready for a pitcher of Yuengling.

At this corner, there's this little hole in the wall called the Satellite Coffee Shop. Oh God, hippies. There is no ATM, and the hippies that passed by us earlier were seated in the corner. Le sigh.

HOWEVER, after I got over the fact that this was a vegetarian place, I regained my composure and ordered the Bike Shop Bagel and a strawberry Italian soda. (There is a Bike Shop right above it...in case you're into that). VG and I shared a peppermint brownie. And, he got a hummus wrap. It's a small place and I was wondering where they prepared it all. Shrug.

Look, hippies!

I stole some hippies' newspaper.

This is the peppermint brownie. I hate chocolate, but this was delicious.

I always do this. I eat my food and forget to take a picture. Sometimes it just looks too delicious. So, I remembered to make VG take a picture of my half-eaten bagel. The Bike Shop Bagel has cream cheese, pesto, spinach, and roasted peppers. There was no meat and I still love it. Impressive, Satellite Coffee Shop.

With my Italian Soda and Bagel, I spent $4.72. Not too bad, but you must consider the opportunity cost of walking forever and getting mugged in the process.

*Note to hippies:

Opportunity Cost (noun)

1. Opportunity costs are not restricted to monetary or financial costs: the real cost of output forgone, lost time, pleasure or any other benefit that provides utility should also be considered opportunity costs.

Good food that I don't recall eating...

2009-03-10T15:07:00.010-04:00

Last night, LL, EW, and I went to El Vez (121 S. 13th Street). If you've never been and you live in Philly, shame on you. Although this was my first sit-down-and-eat visit to this "Mexican-Americans meets East LA in a Tijuana Taxi" Stephen Starr Restaurant. I've only once walked in and it was crowded. Luckily it was a Monday night and people were still hungover from the previous weekend. There was a 20 minute wait, but we went to Capo Giro and I got a Thai Coconut Milk Gelato. Yum. I gave myself a brain freeze because I had to finish it hella quick so we could get seated. Typical.

Started out with their delicious Guacamole: "The Original."

Born and raised in New Mexico...I give this dish two thumbs up. The chips were homemade and deliciously warm. Crunch.

Of course we had to get their famous margaritas. We ordered a pitcher and our waiter whose name I forget. All I cared about was whether the margarita was delicious and it was. We ordered two pitchers, one Pink Cadillac and one Pineapple Canella.

Pictured here is the Pink Cadillac because my camera didn't make it past glass #2 of this pitcher. However, I wish I could have held it together long enough to take note of the cinnamon sugar rim of the Pineapple Canella. I couldn't help but steal EW's empty glass and lick the rim. Wow. Inappropro.

You might wonder whether I ordered an actual entree. I did, I just have no documentation. I do recall that it was the Red Chile something or other. That's all I have for you. My bad.

Veils and Harp-oons

2009-03-09T01:03:00.005-04:00

SPOILER ALERT

Oh, Tool Academy. It saddens me to know that the first season is over. Now I hope that VH1 continues its trend of trashy tv and brings the Tool Academy back for another season.

So, Josh (aka Tiny Tool) graduated. He beat out my initial two favorites, Shawn and Matsuflex. In the end, those two were really just tools and I'm a tool for rooting for them.

Josh laid low, kept quiet, and learned. He sped past these two loudmouth tools. Le sigh.

One "surprise" in the end was that Josh proposed to Ashley. Then the Tool Academy and VH1 surprised the two of them with a real life impromptu wedding. I guess they lucked out that Josh won, eh? If it was Matsuflex who won, I think it would have been irresponsible to give them a wedding. They had been together only 7 months and no sex? I smell a sequel.

My favorite part of the episode was at the end. In true reformed tool-ish character, Josh walks into his wedding wearing a tux and comments on how nice everything looks.

"It was real nice. There's a guy playing the Harpoon." The Harpoon...Josh, did you mean the harp?

According to WikiAnswer, Harp is slang for Harmonica...And, so is harpoon. I don't get how he went from Harmonica (tiny) to Harp (ginormous).

Either way...Congratulations, Josh!

A Prayer for Philadelphia

2009-03-08T17:52:00.008-04:00

So, yes, ladies and gentlemen, aside from perpetuating seemingly meaningless catchphrases and going to eat at a Center City quaint restaurant, I do find time to read. One of the things I've truly come to love since coming to Philadelphia...is Philadelphia itself. I've been here since 2004 and it's always loyal. I can predict its mood, yet at the same time I never know what's going to happen.

And, at the same time, I feel for its pain. I want it to succeed. I want the City of Brotherly Love to heal.

So, I was at the Penn Bookstore two weeks ago and I decided to take a gander and I bought this book. A Prayer for The City, by Buzz Bissinger (who also wrote Friday Night Lights), chronicles Governor Ed Rendell's first term as Mayor of Philadelphia from 1991 to 1995. It serves to show how Rendell earned the nickname "America's Mayor" (given by then VP of US of A, Al Gore).

I'm only 22 pages into it, but I can't look at the buildings and people of West Philadelphia in the same way ever again.

Two things I found out from reading the first 22 pages are:

(1) Ed Rendell went to Penn and was a brother of Pi Lambda Phi (aka PiLam), nowadays also known as the drug frat. Interesting. I have full faith that it wasn't always like that. Somewhere down the line, Pi Lam just got over run by hairy Philosophy Majors.

(2) Ed Rendell was rejected from Penn Law after graduating from Penn as an undergrad. His GPA was a 2.5. There is hope for me.

Bourgeois? or just Bougie?

2009-03-08T14:41:00.010-04:00

What is bougie? It's a word to love and own up to. It's the epitome of "nouveau riche." It's what America is about. It's rags to riches, or The Gap to Prada, or McDonald's to PF Chang's. Or, in the recent economic downturn, it's Bank of America now owning Merrill Lynch. I, for one, love it.

Urban Dictionary (the common man's dictionary) defines it as (I've inserted my own comments where appropriate):

1. Bougie (adjective)

Adjective meaning extravagent, often to the point of snobbery (having class is not snobbery). Usually used in relation to the conspicuous consumption (it helps the economy) of the urban upper-middle class. Derived from "bourgeoisie."

"What kind of chips are those?"
"Organic Parmesan Oregeno with Olive Oil, they're 4 dollars a bag"
"Man those are bougie chips"

2. Bougie (adjective)

Anything that is perceived as "upscale" from a blue-collar point of view. 'Bougie' (pronounced boo'-she) is a hacked truncation of the word Bourgeoisie, which refers to the middle-class in Europe, but refers to a more affluent class level in the United States.

From Wikipedia.org:
In the United States, which lacks strict social classes, Bourgeoisie is sometimes used to refer to those seen as being upper class.

You can sit there and drink your bougie-ass microbrewed beer, but I still prefer my ice cold Coors (Gross!) original.

Did ya see Luthur (who is actually called Luther nowadays?) just roll up in his bougie new BMW?

You can eat your bougie $25.99 salad from Central Market for lunch, but I'm hangin' with Mikky D's!(Who can put a price on a healthy meal? Really. I say this as I'm eating a Fish Fillet from "Mikky D's".)

My #11 Meal from McDonald's was delicious. Obviously all I have left are the french fries. I snarfed the fish up so fast. It's like it never existed in the first place.

But, aren't we all a little bougie? Just a little? Or, at least, we all aspire to be. You'd have to be an ingrate to not want fine dining, nice clothes, and a little bit of Jazz music while you're studying for your next midterm, which you hope to pass with flying colors so that one day you will be able to afford your new bougie lifestyle. Le sigh.

Price: McDonald's No. 11 Fish Fillet Meal - $4.27. What I really wanted was the $25.99 salad from Central Market.

Discover the Experience...

2009-03-05T13:49:00.005-05:00

Can the Jackson Family surprise us anymore? Seriously. It's as if Michael Jackson's own Neverland Ranch didn't leave us with enough crazy to last us a lifetime. What could possibly top Elephant remains and pedophilia all in one venue?

In Nigeria, Marlon Jackson decided to try to outshine his flamboyant brother. I think he wins. It's just my personal opinion.

According to the Guardian, he is starting up a Slavery Theme Park along with a museum dedicated to the Jackson 5. Yes, because Nigeria doesn't have problems of government infrastructure and oil corruption. Nigerians can now spend their non-existent leisure money to go "Discover the Experience" of Slavery. IN AFRICA! What the hell!?

"The Jackson family had been looking for a place to site their memorabilia collection," explained Gary Loster, chief executive of the Motherland Group, to the BBC. "We visited the site of the slave port in Badagry and Marlon turned to me and said: 'Let's put it here, this is right.'"

Jesus. This is worse than Jesus Land (or something like that).

The developers' plans, which include a lifesize replica of a slave ship, holograms of the Jackson Five and robot versions of 18th-century African musicians, are not without their opponents.

I'm speechless.

Why put a theme park about slavery in Africa? That's like putting a theme park dedicated to the IMF and the World Bank in Africa. We should put it in Arkansas or North Dakota where no one has seen a person of color. It should be in the Bible Belt. Africans have had enough of repression and enslavement. Honestly.

Wait. Why? Just...why? I don't think anyone needs a Slavery "Theme Park." The phrase theme park was not my idea. I would have said Museum...or...Memorial...or Burial Place...

The point of an amusement park is joy, wisdom and relaxation. Just saying.

A Shower Wonderland

2009-01-13T14:07:00.007-05:00

Not often does a body wash come along that I just can't stop day dreaming about the opportunity to go out and buy it.

Over the weekend I spent a night in Washington DC. I stayed at a dear friend's house and of course showered in his bathroom. I'm not a hair product mooch. I pride myself in my grooming and cleanliness (as of late). There was a time (during my dark phase) that I could have given less of a hoot. I showered and conditioned my hair with American Crew. The mint refreshes my soul. Still, that wasn't the piece de resistance of my shower there.

That of course was the Hermes Eau D'Orange Verte Body Wash.

That was an over share, but this body wash drives me insane. Honestly.

Of course you can only buy the 10oz bottle online (to the best of my knowledge) at Hermes for $50. I don't know if I can go back to my CVS brand of body wash. Not only do I feel extra yummy, but also slightly bougie.

I'm off to dream some more.

Obama is ruining the redneck's 2008.

2008-10-15T20:46:00.002-04:00

I'm calling the World Series match-up as being between the Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays. They're both ahead and I actually know nothing about baseball. Bad lesbian, bad.

Whoever is in the World Series however (which the Phillies have not been since 1993) will have millions of rednecks watching the game. I'm not saying that everyone that watches baseball is a redneck nor am I saying that all rednecks watch baseball. After all it's not Nascar.

Game 6 of the World Series (if needed) will be postponed by 18 minutes. You ask why? Obama (who is not a terrorist / communist) bought a 30-minute spot for a political ad.

What a clever move to gain the white male vote. Shock. The MLB agreed to move the start of the game by 18 minutes to accommodate this spot. Reactions have been...mixed.

"It’s unfortunate that the World Series’ first pitch is being delayed for Obama’s political pitch," RNC spokesman Alex Conant said. "Not only is Obama putting politics before principle, he’s putting it before our national pastime.”

Rewind. "Putting politics before principle?"

He's putting the race for the presidency before our "national pastime." Alex Conant is a douche. Our economy needs to be mended. Our troops need better support. Our citizens need rights and all this douche can think of is our "national pastime."

18 minutes, come on. That's actually a long time if you would just take a minute to think about it.

These rednecks could do the following:

1. Recite half of the alphabet 72 times.
2. Shower once.
3. Drink a six-pack with Sarah Palin.
4. Read part of the Kansas City Times.
5. Put on a shirt.
6. Heat up some Lean Cuisine.

Honestly. Obama's "extra 18 minutes" is a gift to these backwards folk. There. I said it. Stop whining. Watch the spot.

Vote or Die

2008-10-06T11:17:00.004-04:00

America considers itself the most exceptional democracy in the world, preaching its glory to the rest of the world. It's a shining example of democracy. Does this statement still ring true? Are we the greatest democracy that this world currently has to offer? There is no exception that we used to be. This current generation: Generation X, Y, Z, Alpha, or Omega...(yadayada, I'm not keeping track and nor does it matter) has voted in record low numbers. Democracy needs to be exercised, yet we, the youth voters, are not excercising anything. It's one of the simplest activities ever. You go to the polling station. You vote. You're done. If you're studying at a university, you go back to bed or to bed for the first time that night. It's simple, right? Then why did only 38% of eligible youth voters turnout to the polls? Eligible meaning: non-felons, registered voters, citizens, etc.

It takes effort. Not the actual activity you should be doing on November 4th, but the process of voting. You're expected to follow the bailout and understand its complexities. You're expected to know if you're already registered or not and then if someone on the street fucks up your registration...you won't be able to vote. Is that your fault? You're expected to care. You're expected to trust your government. You're expected to pick one of the two candidates - even if you dislike both of them. You have little less than a month to get the facts and consider yourself educated.

Be a Maverick. Go vote. But, first, you have to register. Did you already do that?

Puma

2008-09-24T18:21:00.003-04:00

So, I've been busy with school. I think you'd understand my absence. I don't have exciting travel stories...

But...

Check out my new shoes!

Ok, I haven't actually worn them yet, so they do look exactly like this picture. Shiny. Clean. And super soft.

And, they're flannel. Woot! I love Puma to death.

Going to school hasn't actually made me think about the world less...My writing has just been devoted to papers. I will however revisit and bash on the world once again. Hopefully before the elections, but definitely Nov 4 at the latest.

Go out and vote! In some states you can already vote. Go Barack the vote. thanks!

You must be less than 1,000 pounds to cross the bridge...

2008-08-22T23:07:00.008-04:00

Forgive my French, but "What the Fuck?" A half-ton woman was indicted of killing her 2-year old nephew. He was apparently struck twice...killing him. I ask: Did she hit him with her 100 pound pinky finger? Did the boy have a sister and is she missing? Was she eaten or just hidding amongst the layers of overlapping skin. I know that I may sound mean. I'm not being mean. I'm conveying an overwhelming level of disgust at this country's lack of dignity. How does one get to be one THOUSAND pounds? Oh, disclaimer: 800 pounds. Do you reach 700 pounds and say ahhh fuck it? What happened when the 500 pounds milestone was reached? "This could go either way. I could go on the Biggest Loser or I could be the fattest human alive."

The court system has to figure out a way to even get her to court. They probably have to build her a special room. When there is a jail fight the guards have to get together, surround her and all one hundred of them have to lasso her to the ground. This is all happening amongst constant groans similar to Jurassic Park sound effects.

This isn't healthy. We're all saying that the media is portraying unrealistic images of beauty. Yes, I admit it finally...it's true that this was the case. I am however seeing more of a lean towards a healthier image. Smart Start. All Natural Foods. (This "Organic" thing that I'm going to try out at Farmicia sooner or later.) Making the right decisions when it comes to nutrition.

How to Look Good Naked with Carson Kressley attempts to show women that it's ok to have curves. This woman basically did not listen to a single healthy piece of advice EVER. She did not eat at McDonalds. She walked up to the Golden Arches and ate the entire restaurant. If there is a tub of lard out there, it's probably gone. She ate it. She ate it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I take the bus every morning to work. The bus system here encourages sloth-dom. I hate it. I walk maybe 15 minutes to get to the bus. However lazy people can call the bus ahead of time and ask them to pick them up some place other than the designated bus stop. This lady calls every morning. I can see her get on the bus from the bus stop. I have horrible eye sight. I glare at her when I get on the bus. Her laziness forces me to stand outside in warm business clothes for an extra five minutes because not only is she lazy, but she is SLOW.

Oh good, she can still cross this bridge.

I promise that this is the only fat people rant I will write.

Disclaimer: Just because I promise something doesn't mean that it's true.

My name could be Devil

2008-08-12T19:36:00.004-04:00

If I could have any name, what would it be? It would probably be Digi Mondt. My parents would think about "Devil Child" or "God" depending on their mood and my actions during that day.

Sweden has relaxed rules on parents allowing them to name their children whatever they want. Well, not whatever they want...they have to steer clear from God, Allah, and Devil. They can however name their children Coca-Cola, McDonald's, Metallica, and Budweiser. I'd love the name Energizer or Duracell. Or, maybe Astroglide or Trojan. I know, I'm laughing out loud. Considering that my name is extremely girly I've dreamt of others, such as La-Z-Boy, Smirnoff Ice, or 5 Gum. That's right, I will heighten all five of your senses.

Asian Fusion in the Gayborhood

2008-08-05T22:24:00.010-04:00

DC confuses the crap out of me. After several drives into the city I've figured out how to get to one destination without any problems. That destination is Dupont Circle. When anyone suggests going anywhere else and I'm driving, I refuse. I have this homing device that makes it easy for me to reach my homo destination in this nation's capital.

The simple pleasure of getting out of Hick's Ville, Virginia was enough. Today I hopped into the car with my Yorkie, Pogi. I-66. E Street. 20th Street. Voila. My Gay Positioning System worked. I am amongst the gay once again. (No, it's not that kind of Gay Positioning System). Again, I love seeing HRC stickers, well-dressed men, no farmer's tans, over-sized sunglasses, women in board shorts with cool haircuts, many many little cafes, etc. Even the Church of Scientology makes me smile.

The past three times I've gone into the city, I've dined at one place, Raku. Yes, it's Asian fusion. I can't help myself. I love a Sapporo and / or Kiri Ichiban.

What I can't do without is their Crispy Calamari. Whenever I see this on a menu, it's a must-eat. Dipped in the Sweet Thai Chili Sauce. Yum.

Price: $5.95

Another Raku staple is their Crunchy Spicy Tuna Roll. Crunchy? What? I still don't know what it is that they put in it to add a little crunch. Complimented by delish Tuna, yum. You know me, gotta love the tuna. Price: $5.50

Today I had a scoop of French Vanilla Ice Cream. I guess we didn't feel adventurous enough to try the Croissant Pudding with Ginger Ice Cream. It sounds weird, but it looks good now I've scoured the internet for anything and everything about this restaurant.

For example, the chef traveled around South East Asia for a year or so before creating the menu. Traveling well spent, I say. As well as my money. They're also extremely dog-friendly. The waiter brought Pogi a bowl of water filled with ice on a humid day. It looked so refreshing that I almost dipped my nose in it. We got excellent service because he also kept coming out to play with the dog. I didn't mind. I got excellent service. Very attentive. My Pogi deserves that.

It's a sign...

2008-08-02T16:56:00.008-04:00

So, yesterday I was telling a coworker that I needed to get the hell outta this hetero-friendly town. I need some gay back in my life. By "some gay" I mean something other than Will & Grace and Project Runway on Wednesday nights. It's been a really long time since I've seen "some gay" on a very regular basis. It may be enough to make someone turn, but I know I'm stronger than that...Yes...

Today, on my way from work, I was given comfort by the sight of the HRC sticker on rear bumpers of cars. Just that simple design makes me smile. That's the "some gay" that I was looking for. If you have a car and (key word) own it go and donate to America's largest civil
rights organization fighting for the rights of LGBT folk everywhere.

"HRC seeks to improve the lives of GLBT Americans by advocating for equal rights and benefits in the workplace, ensuring families are treated equally under the law and increasing public support among all Americans through innovative advocacy, education and outreach programs. HRC works to secure equal rights for GLBT individuals and families at the federal and state levels by lobbying elected officials, mobilizing grassroots supporters, educating
Americans, investing strategically to elect fair-minded officials and partnering
with other GLBT organizations."

You will receive a nice little sticker along with your donation. More importantly, you will send out a message to someone yearning for "some gay" in their lives. Just that little sign lets that person know that they are not alone.

If you're not out to everyone and their mother it's more perfect than the rainbow. In a redneck town I would probably not put that on your bumper. First of all, this is a very discrete design. Second of all, rednecks don't know any of the following symbols: +, -, %, x or =.

You might say: "I'm already gay and I live in San Francisco. It can't get any gayer than it already is." You've forgotten your own roots. Stop forgetting. Go to HRC.org and revisit them.

Election Protection Part II

2008-07-30T23:17:00.003-04:00

I just noticed that the condoms are yellow.

I won't be able to look at another banana the same way again, let alone eat one.

A footnote of discrimination

2008-07-30T22:03:00.003-04:00

Bush signed two pieces of legislation Wednesday morning repealing two acts making it impossible for immigration for HIV-positive foreign nationals. However, he and his administration held off on the last one. In 1987, HHS used its existing legal authority to add HIV to a list of communicable diseases that disqualifies HIV-positive visitors from entering the country as well as foreigners with HIV from being eligible for immigrant status. Bush's bill repealing this ban kept language that made it possible for the HHS to decide on the issue.

To me this just sounds like Bush is making himself look like a dogooder, but then there's a footnote that people forget to read.

Lame, Bush. Lame.

...I'm not a fan of lame bushes.

Election Protection

2008-07-28T22:58:00.003-04:00

There is nothing I love more than mixing politics and sex. Mind you, Eliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton thought so too.

No longer do we sport the boring buttons that say "I Like Ike." People will be showing their support for their respective candidates with condoms. You can get your politico shrink wrap at condomania.

It is a little weird about putting a dead guy (Reagan) and an almost dead guy (McCain) on your package. It also is a little weird to be down there with Bill Clinton and a woman whose vagina probably tastes like mothballs (Hillary).

Wow, I grossed myself out.

Now this is what I mean...

2008-07-27T20:36:00.006-04:00

These idiots should be arrested. No lawnmowers were hurt during these incidents. Don't worry, Mr. Deere.

Dear future passengers on a plane that I am on,
Please leave the alcohol and drunken behavior to me. Do not try to open the door of an airplane mid-flight. Thanks.

"She opened the door to get fresh air."

And they wondered why the flight attendant didn't want to provide alcoholic beverages to these idiots.

Oh, who cares about those amendments...

2008-07-26T22:52:00.004-04:00

Those amendments are a funny thing.

Just so you all out there know...the amendments are those articles and ideals that a bunch of big wigs concocted some 232 years ago. They're kind of what this country was founded upon...in 1776. I repeat...in 1776 some 232 years ago.

What was going on 232 years ago? Well, Catherine the Great of Russia was still in control. Australia was being settled by Europeans. The Industrial Revolution had started at the beginning of the century. I can go on and on. I have Wikipedia bookmarked.

What wasn't around? Computers, the television, the female orgasm, homosexuality, basketball, your smug Prius Hybrid, the clitoris, and denim...

Let me just go to the constitution real quick. The Second Amendment, added in 1791, states:

" A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

Up until fairly recent, Washington, DC had a ban on firearms. That ban was overturned and the constitution was upheld. Thank God. Right? Well, that's just in DC.

Turn your attention to this news trinket. This guy shoots his lawnmower. He didn't shoot his gardner who is mowing his lawn. No, he shot his "Lawn Boy." A woman who lives in the some house as this man alerted police citing that he was drunk. He was charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed. Quick note: This man who is definitely older than 21 years old shot his own lawnmower on his own property. I really do not see a crime here.

Do not get me wrong. I understand both sides of this argument. It's the same old guns don't kill people, people kill people versus the simple guns kill debate. But, if you took the gun out of the hands of the people, no guns would kill people. Maybe then we could expect a right to bear knives constitutional amendment. That would never fly though. Additionally the District of Columbia desperately needs this ban on firearms to return, as do Detroit, Philadelphia and Camden.

The fact of the matter is, however, that there's a constitutional amendment that gives citizens the right to bear firearms. (The citizen part is a whole other debate.) That's what the Supreme Court has decided and has banged its gavel on the matter. Yet, are we really allowed to bear firearms? Is it really happening? Is this country whole-heartedly doing so? In Virginia, you're allowed to bear firearms. Just a couple more miles east on I-66, you'd better get rid of that gun. It's inconsistent, but it's ok.

I, for one, would be more concerned with this debate than the debate on same-sex marriage. Guns or People...one debate deals with death. The other deals with love, commitment and, oh yeah, tax breaks. One aids drug cartels and the other aids caterers, florists and the U-Haul company. We're going to ignore one constitutional amendment and uphold another.

Around 200 years after the Constitution was drafted by Ben, Jefferson, and all those dudes, this document has evolved from emancipating the slaves, giving woman the right to vote, denying Americans alcohol and then allowing it when the government said it was acceptable to be sloshed again.

The next time I hear someone say that the constitution can't be altered and that it's etched in stone, I'm going to cite my second amendment.

(Disclaimer #1: Digi Mondt does not own a firearm nor will use any said non-existing firearm as a prop to demonstrate the second amendment.)

(Disclaimer #2: This entry is not meant to encourage you to shoot your lawnmower, especially if it runs on gasoline. You might blow that shit up.)

Gay Fledglings...

2008-07-22T22:52:00.003-04:00

What little boys play like this??? To the gay men: Is that what you all did during summer camp? We always seem to hear about "this one time at camp." Is this it?

Underjams Commercial.

There's no punching, kicking, or anything. I mean, I played like this with my friends and look at me now. ;-)

Nightmare

2008-07-21T20:53:00.002-04:00

I had one of the most horrible dreams of my life.

I dreamed that I was back at Penn and in my new dorm room. Then I look around and ask myself: "Which room do I pick?" Eh. Wrong question. There was one room and THREE beds. No kitchen. No bathroom. Gross. Watch. This will actually happen to me.

Then enter my new roommates: The rednecks from Tennessee. I was so excited to leave Redneck Manassas, Virginia that God punished me and brought Redneck Manassas to Philadelphia.

...Gross.

Oh my...

2008-07-21T20:49:00.003-04:00

Real quick...

How old is McCain? He doesn't necessarily strike me as the model-type. What's with this picture? What's with the tie thrown back over the shoulder?

Really, people...

Too Punchdrunk to Dodge Checkmate...

2008-07-16T23:20:00.006-04:00

Does George Foreman have the mental ability to checkmate his opponent? I'm actually not speaking metaphorically. There's this sport that combines chess and boxing. What? What's that?

Well to simplify the rules:

The fighters play chess in the middle of the ring for four minutes. The bell rings. The chess players box for three minutes. The bell rings...and so forth.

The loser said he was simply too punch drunk to fend off checkmate.

Whoever checkmates their opponent first wins. Whoever knocks their opponent out first wins the bout. If there is a chess draw, they go back to the boxing.

"It is especially hard for the one who has to play first. He can easily make a false move, and in chess this is fatal. So in training we toughen people by making them do push-ups between every two chess moves."

This is kind of ridiculous. This really really is.

So is this: "The weekend saw two matches apart from the world title bout and some of the competitors might have felt equally at home in a MENSA club meeting. One had a doctorate in biochemistry, another held a degree in political science and two were teachers."

Wtf? Are we breeding some kind of Super Mensch? Are Jewish people allowed to play?

Oh, Obama.

2008-07-14T23:32:00.002-04:00

This is exactly what I meant these past few posts...

Worker's Dignity.

What is with this nation?

2008-07-13T22:22:00.003-04:00

A brief trip to my ever-fading youth:

I'm flying in an airplane from Amsterdam to New York during the summer of 1994. The first time I had been to the US in about two years after living in Vienna, Austria. As we are heading in, we fly over the Statue of Liberty. My dad says: "Look!" And, I turn and say "Liberty from homework." Little did I know what that statue actually meant. All I knew was that for a couple months I did not have to worry one iota about homework.

Now I understand. But do I really? Is that statue part of a forgotten legacy? Is it symbol telling perfectly decent immigrants to turn back around? Is it a symbol of hypocrisy? I believe that as a nation we have forgotten. We have forgotten that Lady Liberty wants Europe, Asia, Africa and Latin America to bring her their tired, their poor and their sick.

In case you didn't know, the United States bans those with HIV/AIDS from can have their visa applications denied if the U.S. government learns of their HIV status. It just makes me sick that this country's track record regarding this issue is so horrendous.

In 2006, our beloved former alcoholic/cokehead president promised to lift this ban. It's July 2008 and it's still there. Many of the world's brightest minds are barred from this so-called land of opportunity. Yes, I include Andrew Sullivan in this group of characters.

We are really good at banning those who are in need of our so-called excellent health care, but fail to really keep out immigrants from crossing the southern border that have criminal records. Heck, more cocaine and marijuana cross our borders without any problem.

Last month, the UN Secretary General called for the lifting of this ban, but we still have to rely on George Bush's word...for now. The U.S. is one of only 12 countries – the others being Armenia, Colombia, Iraq, Oman, Qatar, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Solomon Islands, South Korea, Sudan, and Yemen – to have such harsh travel restrictions on people living with HIV/AIDS. Wow. What great company we are in.

Again, this country likes to give fading hope to those waiting to come to this nation. I really have no faith in the lifting of the ban. I had faith that this nation of "human rights" and "equality" was going to grant same-sex marriages. I had faith that Bush would not be re-elected. That faith has all been flushed down the toilet. I'm going to have to wait. Until then, do what you can.

Support Section 305 of the Tom Lantos & Henry J. Hyde U.S. Global Leadership Against HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria Reauthorization Act of 2008 (S. 2731).

Getting the job done...

2008-07-09T23:44:00.005-04:00

Here's another meaning to the phrase: "Getting the job done."

Ever thought of trusting a state office's website's list of resources? Think again. People looking for a job, maybe to get themselves out of the throngs of welfare and/or national debt, were surprised to find that they dialed the number for a Sex Hotline for women seeking sex.

Oh wait, it's also listed incorrectly on the Verizon Yellow Pages. Ahh, the yellow pages. you'd think that because their ONE JOB is to get numbers right...Oh well.

However, I wouldn't doubt for one second that this could have been a hoax from a disgruntled former employee. I would do that. Just kidding, MAG and Mr. Commander in Chief.

This however contradicts my feelings that people aren't really looking for jobs. Or, did they hear throught the grapevine that there's cool phone-sex there.

Lose the crutches...

2008-07-08T22:26:00.006-04:00

No, this is not an entry about Asian fusion cuisine. Although, I cannot wait to return to Philly and take JYC and KT to a cheap dinner at Pod. My treat. Did you hear that? It's official and on record.

The company that I work for, CRAssociates (which is a contractor for the United States Army), does not like paying overtime. If there were overtime, I would be a workhorse. I would maybe clock in 80 hours weeks. My boss, MAG, did not know that I was considered full-time and no longer a temp. This was news to me as well. So I worked an 80 hour pay period despite the 4th of July. So, lucky me I worked and the pay period is over and I get 88 hours worth of pay. This is a great day.

So back to East meets West. Apparently many Asians are offended about the tofu thing. I think my mom has a slight case of dementia at times. It was very amusing to read the comments and knowing who was Asian and who was Colombian. Let's be nice. Nah. I hate nice. Nice is boring. I live for stirring up emotions and pissing you people off.

This leads me to the issue of welfare and I know some of you may still remain my friends by the time I am done.

I was talking to JAM the other day about this issue. Now, mind you her family has benefited from welfare. And, I'm not ruling out welfare as a whole. But, come on, people. Now, here in Virginia I've come across this a lot. Ahh, welfare. There's this thing called affordable housing. I understand. It's for those who weren't born with the silver spoon in their mouths. It's for those non-Paris Hiltons. It's even for those who have not experienced a comfortable life. Then again "comfortable life" is in the eye of the beholder.

I heard this from the horse's mouth: "They just live there until they get a job...but then never do. This one girl has been there 10 years." Ten years, ladies and gentlemen. Ten years. Forgive my Croatian: What the Jebem!?

Karen Walker, on Will & Grace, once said: "You know what's sad? Poor people with big dreams." Normally I would sympathize with Ms. Karen Walker because I relate to her. However, it's not funny. What's sad is poor people who have been given this break, this opportunity of leniency, in affordable housing, welfare, and food stamps and then sit on the government's money and don't do shit. Where is this country's sense of dignity?

Our forefathers created the idea of the "Pursuit of Life, Liberty and Happiness." It's not: the "Pursuit of Life, Freedom from Responsibility and Happy Lethargy."

Again, don't get me wrong. Welfare is a good shot at a second chance, or even in some cases a first chance. I know about second chances. They don't come often and if you wait long enough to cash in on that second chance you're just lazy and you haven't learned jack shit. Ten years of maalooching off of our taxes.

Americans have long just rested on the fact that the government, or their parents, are going to bail them out. Not just once, once can be expected, but 9273528736 times?!

The United States of America's debt on this date is $9,495,689,951,187.66. With a population of 304,321,106 that's a debt of $31,202.86 per person. Instead of constantly bailing our people out and digging ourselves into an even bigger hole. Of course at the moment I'm not even going to get into how much the war and etc cost. Another shocking number is that every day that this continues, our debt and the debt of our children increases an average of $1.72 billion.

Where is our national obligation? Where is our pursuit of LIBERTY? I don't think this just applies to liberty from tyranny and non-democratic authorities. This means that we don't need to be spoon fed every time we're hungry. This means we can take the training wheels off of our tricycles and ride the big-boy bike.

Just a couple months ago I was in debt of over 15,000. My dad wanted me to file bankruptcy. Instead...(here's a novel idea)...I got a job.

America, you broke your leg years ago. Why are you still hobbling around on crutches?

Copulate only when I tell you to...

2008-07-07T17:14:00.004-04:00

That's right. Only have sex in the manner in which you are allowed. You probably think I'm going crazy. But, a couple of years ago I did learn that in Pennsylvania (or Philadelphia), the following were illegal:

1. A residence may not have nine or more women living together, otherwise it is considered a brothel.
2. Oral sex is illegal.

What is this government's obssession with our sex lives? Don't have sex with a man if you're a man. Don't be a lesbian. Don't surgically alter your genitalia. Don't have sex front to back. This list goes on.

My personal favorites:

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
It is illegal in Utah to marry your first cousin before the age of 65.
Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.
Flirting is banned in San Antonio, TX
It is illegal for husbands in Willowdale, Oregon, to talk dirty during intercourse.
Ancient law in Alabama bans men from attempting to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, arts, deception, flattery or a promise of marriage."

And...the best one yet:

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.

Just think, that if someone was brave enough to copulate (new fave word) with a prickly porcupine, the government has the gall to forbid it. Sigh.

Stereotypically...

2008-07-07T16:27:00.002-04:00

Being a lesbian, there are many stereotypes that accompany my label.

Just to clarify...

I don't wear Birkenstocks (I own a pair but they're gathering dustmites).
I don't wear lumberjack flannel shirts that are tributes to grunge.
I have never once shaved my head or even thought of it. Well, maybe when I was drunk I thought of it.
I have never worked at Home Depot (although I love it), IKEA (again...love).
Even though I wear men's clothing, I do not consider myself butch. I just confuse people.
I'm not a bra-burner.
I'm not overly liberal.
I'm not Jewish.
I'm not a proud owner of cats
I am the proud owner of a very girl type dog - a Yorkshire Terrier.
Gay men love me.

Oh, and another one...I'm not a vegetarian. Good for me because unscientific findings have conjectured that Tofu (a lezzy vegan food group) causes dementia.

5 Gum and The Daily Dish

2008-07-06T19:08:00.004-04:00

My new love...
New 5 gum. It's supposed to stimulate all five senses. Yum. And, they're sooo right. If you haven't tried it go out and splurge. Yes, the fancy packaging stimulates my vision. The tingles down my throat stimulate my taste and touch. And when I chew I can't help but be emphatic about it, thus making all the chewing noise that my jaw can handle. Ergo - hearing.

If you're trying to hide the fact that you just had a cigarette, this works perfectly. Other gums still leave a trace.

Moving on to other news. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit keep me fairly lethargic and glued to the television on weekends. However, I also have food for thought for you, or [insert more clever idiom here].

Andrew Sullivan. I heard about him for the first time while passing through Philadelphia's famous Giovanni's Room years and years go. The person accompanying me only had spiteful things to say. You know who you are. ;-) So, being the sheep that I am and I hated reading and learning, etc. (I still sometimes do, but less so).

I've found my new political god. If he wasn't a non-US citizen I'd personally join his camp and force him to run for president. What I know about him:

He's a homosexual Brit, but interested in American politics. This is a given. Everyone in the world has to be in some way or another. Our politics unjustly affects practically every nation in every corner of this planet. He can't become a US citizen because of his HIV status because we're a nation of ignoramuses. It's not like so many traipse around not knowing anyway.

He's a libertarian. Yes, I've become a fan of a libertarian. He's liberal on issues regarding issues such as (surprise, surprise) same-sex marriage.

However, he's a libertarian conservative. Huh? What? Yeah. I've been searching for a label to use for myself. And, I've found someone to look up to. JYC calls me a conundrum and doesn't understand why I, a lesbian, labels herself as a conservative. I mean, I should despise everything pertaining to conservatism, right? I was watching Margaret Cho last night and another lightbulb went up in my head. What I despise about today's conservative movement are the politicians that are at its forefront. The Christianist Homophobic hatemongers that cater to the middle America, mullet sporting, trailer park, horse-shoe gamers are what's wrong with this movement. Flat taxes, limited government and no welfare. Don't hate on me. These are just my beliefs and if you know me and are reading this you probably already knew all of this.

His blog The Daily Dish has become my daily ritual. Even if you disagree, make it yours too. Why? Because so many people out there are either left or right and want to hear nothing that the other side has to say. Those fence sitters are labeled as indecisive and flip-floppers. This is a guy that tells it all and isn't afraid to say when he's wrong. Many of you should learn this lesson in humility.

Go Rafael Nadal.

2008-07-02T22:33:00.001-04:00

A Moral Compass?

2008-06-05T21:55:00.003-04:00

In Hartford, Connecticut an elderly man is hit by a car that was chasing another car. Both cars turn into an alley way and disappear. Now, this is all caught on tape for us to see. People who saw it in plain sight and were on scene of the crime did nothing.

The town's police chief observed that "We no longer have a moral compass." On the video it looks like nothing is being done. You don't know though. People could be on their phones calling their homies, but more importantly the po-po. You're not really supposed to move someone because you could break something on the poor sucker and then you could get sued unless you live in a state that has Good Sumeritan laws. What does bug me is the first minute or so when no one seems to do anything. Cars pass by. People look and pace around nervously. Would you know what to do? It's called the Bystander Effect or Bystander Apathy and this phenomenon is basic human nature. The people driving around see other people around and assume that they're handling it. After all, bitches, got places to go, people to see, and things to do.

Again, I turn to Wikipedia (my lifeline to Academia)...

In 1964, Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death in her apartment in New York City (look out Jean J. Hsu). Neighbors heard screaming yet nothing was done. The police weren't called and the dozens of witnessed went back to sleep while Ms. Genovese was raped and murdered. Go to wikipedia. I don't feel like being gruesome at the moment.

Have we lost out moral compass? Is water boarding at Guantanamo ok if used to torture 9/11 perps? Is a lethal injection any more humane than the guillotine? We elect Governors who hire and transport hookers across state lines. Supposed role models like Michael Vick take dogs and make them tear each other apart for money, shits, and giggles. What do you think?

My moral compass, especially in the past 30 days, has been put into question. That isn't to say it hasn't been placed under scrutiny for a while now. Does tsk-tsking those bystanders make you a better person? Many people would love to bring the guillotine back and form crowds around the execution for entertainment...just like what happened in the last few episodes of The Tudors. I mean, we watch reality tv shows of people's lives falling apart. Just because one person gets caught doing the EXACT same thing you were doing doesn't make you the better person. Oh, you changed? Do people change? People are people. We're always going to secretly, or even not so secretly, enjoy the sufferings of others. There really isn't a selfless deed (as Phoebe Buffay didn't know). You're going to go build huts in Africa? Good...but you're achieving self-fulfillment?

This video being posted all across the internet (I too am guilty of it) only helps others tsk-tsk and shake their heads in disbelief at the population of Hartford, Connecticut. What is up with the police chief blaming the populace there? Everyone does it and they just don't know how they would react because something this horrible just hasn't happened to them yet. Blaming the populace, I guess, allows the chief to place himself on a high and mighty pedestal. Ha. I'm tsk-tsking at him. Ok. I'll tsk-tisk myself.

What I don't like about the country...

2008-05-30T21:35:00.002-04:00

I just read Jean J. Hsu's latest blog entry about how much she loves The City, so I decided to write how I hate The Country, or The Suburbia.

First off, clubs? What? Huh? The last one I went to was Woody's a couple a weeks ago...in Philadelphia during my escape from Suburbia. Before that I've spent almost 5 months club-less and without the thumpa thumpa of the gay heart beat.

Just goes to show that all Countryfolk are straight. The closest thing to gay (besides one or two I bumped into) is one of my neighbors "Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)" bumper sticker.

I just want to return to the nightlife aspect...I like the idea of a little danger after midnight. But, no, I walk around in my PJs to...walk my dog. I feel completely safe in the pitch-black dark because everyone is asleep.

The closest thing to going out on the town I've done here is go to Hooters after work with a couple coworkers. Hooters. Gotta be kidding me. Jean is cracking up in her Suede chair and Prada loafers right now.

A couple blocks from my neighborhood is a place called Shooters. Of course it's been shut down and is a ghost of a memory of something. Yes, it's a sports bar and it seems that's all there is around here.

The only upside is that there's smoking allowed inside. Also, cheap ass drinks...Which is probably why there are alcoholics in abundance. I love homosexual alcoholics. They still dance well and they get ass. The only alcoholics here are red-necks and country bumpkin. They go to the bar, cry about their life, hop into their Dodge Ram from 1982 and head home to beat their wife. Their farmer's tan is also not so attractive.

Will someone save me? Thanks. I have exactly 3 months 'til I get to go back to Penn and my city of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection...thinking about it makes me want to pee my pants, but I don't think I'll be able to hold it that long.

One last nostalgic thought about Philly and a quote by Jean J. Hsu: "I loved it so much that I wanted to urinate on it."

Solar Powered Bra

2008-05-16T22:25:00.002-04:00

Ok,I worked 12 hours today and so I don't have enough energy to put my mind, thoughts, and opinions onto paper, or keyboard.

However, now that my hetero-girl is back online in Chicago, I felt a desire to post at least, well, something.

Before I start, the Japanese should be given credit for trying to be innovative and 'creative-per-se.'

So, this morning on the way to work I was listening to the radio and heard about this: A Solar "Photovoltaic-Powered" Bra designed by Triumph.

Keep in mind that these are the same people who created the Anti-Smoking Bra that emits a certain fragrance that tackles cravings. Oh, and don't forget the Shopping Bag Bra that was supposed to eliminate the waste of plastic bags. Granted, Japan is small and densely packed, but plastic bags don't take up that much room.

Anyway, back to the Solar Bra...Umm, I don't know exactly what I should say. It's more like a swimsuit and while you're lying out you can charge your phone or iPod. This is crazy. It also looks hideous. What do you guys think?

Oh, and I should add that it has a beverage holder. Cuz I always think about drinking fluids out of a cup while I'm in my skivvies. Also, before you strip down, maybe you should have thought about extra batteries ahead of time.

Democratic Peace: Are we all Kants or Cunts at heart?

2008-05-01T20:54:00.005-04:00

Why did I write about Wikipedia last time? Well I'll enlighten you as Kant has enlightened me. I was reading an article and I truly, I mean...TRULY, felt enlightened. I've been feeling like this more and more. I think it's the prospect of going back to Penn and actually studying. And, I'm excited about it. Weird. I'm also coming to terms with not going out partying 6 nights a week and partying at the Van Pelt Library instead. Weird.

Democratic Peace. Hold up. Peace? That's a word we don't know much about. We know the pleasant dream of peace and we know when we're a nation that is going through "peaceful" times. I ask this though: Has this nation ever truly been completely peaceful? We either have conflicts with Great Britain before we were born. That's much like a brat of a baby kicking a mother's stomach while still in the womb. Or, we're bludgeoning Native Americans and making them trek thousands of miles into the desert. Or, we bludgeon the slaves that pick our cotton. Or, there are riots in Los Angeles between Koreans and Latin Americans. Or, or, or...These are events that happen on our soil...Then we go abroad and "do good," yet disobey Father George Washington's wishes that we stay out of world conflicts. If only...(yes. he really did say that).

The concept of a Democratic Peace states that democracies never or (here's a loophole) rarely go to war against each other. Here's another loophole: is there such a thing as a true democracy? The US is a representative democracy where we elect folks like Elliot Spitzer to represent our vote. Har Har. So the fact that we're "representative" aside, why are we always at war against our father's wishes?

Kant believed that democracies wouldn't go to war unless in self-defense. So how do we end war? Create democracies everywhere. Woot! How do we do that? Isn't this what we're trying to do with a war in Iraq. One argument could be to create social movements in a totalitarian or communist state. Ha. Would a totalitarian leader allow that? Saddam could have said: Sure, come over here with your liberal thoughts and your homosexuals and make my people think for themselves while I sit on my toilet of pure gold. That was never going to happen. Ergo we need war.

Self-defense. Sigh. Pre-World War I Germany was attacked by a Serb idiot and then gets blamed for the whole shindig. I've never been able to come to terms with this historical fact. The United States of America has been, for years and years, trying to promote democracy abroad. In theory it's good. In reality it's never going to happen without war. Then, 9/11 comes along and we have an excuse to go after the Taliban. What are we doing in Iraq? Oh...just in case something happens. Thus, I have a question to the Kant in heaven right now if he can hear me (plus I like saying Kant). If we strike a nation before they strike us, but we have reason to believe (no proof) that they will hurt us down the line and never want another 9/11 to happen...can we attack them? I'm baffled by my own question.

If you know your girlfriend is going to cheat on you, do you go out and cheat on your girlfriend first? What are you going to say when you two have that huge ass fight? "Well, I did it because I knew you were going to do it tonight or tomorrow night." Someone on Hot 99.5 actually said something along these lines last Friday. I'd rather eliminate a threat before I get hurt. It makes me feel like I have all the control. I guess I've come to my own conclusion. The US likes to be in control. We're a nation of phallus symbols and phallic monuments in our capital and a non-well endowed president who probably will be the next Viagra spokesperson. Thank you, Bob Dole.

Wikipedia it, because reading a book takes too long

2008-04-27T21:05:00.007-04:00

This has become my new theory on education. Granted, I've been on a hiatus from the University of Pennsylvania for almost a year now and soon I will be packing up my shit (again) and heading back to the Intellectual Bubble that lies in West Philadelphia. I've also decided to actually do my work and attend class. What I haven't decided on is whether I'm going to spend hundreds of bucks on books that my professors probably wrote or the time waiting in line at the crowded Penn Bookstore. Instead I'm going to find the text online and read it online while I'm IMing friends that are probably at the library toiling through their text books in search of the perfect quotes that will make their senior thesis zing. Me, I like to multi-task. On the computer I can just highlight and hit CTRL+C and paste it right into my paper. For the record, don't forget to reference your illegitimate internet source.

Ergo: Wikipedia is my solution. Yes, this isn't new news. Nor is it old news. But, it makes me wonder what my aversion towards books is. It's always been like this unless it's the latest Nick Hornby book. (High Fidelity and About a Boy are great). If the book doesn't have to do with the inner male-psyche, I want nothing to do with it.

In the past two days, I've figured out how ancient Hillary Clinton and John McCain really are. I've learned more about Human Rights than I may ever need to. I've also increased my knowledge of the legend-to-be, John Legend. (Ordinary People is a must have). You can also learn how to quit smoking or how to make the perfect Mixed-CD on WikiHow.com (although High Fidelity really taught me how to make the best CD).

It's faster. Period. (That was redundant). I don't have time to learn stuff while I should be on facebook, blogspot, youtube, and Gmail all at the same time. I just don't. Now, if all my lectures were conducted via PodCast, my life would be perfecto. Everyday, no make that every second, of my life, I'm getting older. Sigh. Do I want to waste it in a dusty aisle of the library that is too huge for anyone's sanity? Then I find a book, right, how do I know that it's actually got what I'm looking for? Yet, I still go to and wait at the checkout line. There's no line on the internet. I don't have to read the entire thing to find a quote. Actually, if there's a quote I have in mind I just google it and hopefully a quote pops up. And if it didn't? Well while I was waiting for google to search I just poked three friends on facebook. So, no time lost.

The same theory goes towards movies based on books. A book costs around (let's just say) $20. The price of paper has severely sky rocketed due to Bush's war in the desert. Afterall, we blame him for everything, don't we? A movie ticket at The Bridge on Walnut Street costs $5-9. You can even buy nachos for like $4 and don't have to worry about smearing Cheese-Wiz all over the pages of your brand new book. If you do spill, some cheap labor is going to clean it up anyway. An hour and a half later, I'm left with a decent interpretation of a book that would have taken about one day to finish (depending). For the multi-tasker in me, the movie is the better deal. Not only did I get to eat and not clean up afterwards, I also took a girl out on a cheap date. Taking a date to read my book is less appealing and sexy.

Exaggeration of Separation of Church and State

2008-04-24T20:54:00.004-04:00

The state of Florida is being criticized for advocating the design of a certain license plate. It would have "I Believe" on it with a cross and a stained glass, and of course your license plate number.

Now, I ask you: Is this a big deal?
Guess who thinks so. No, seriously guess who thinks that this is a big deal. The ACLU. Duh.

An Indiana plate with the "In God We Trust" phrase has been challenged by the ACLU, but the courts so far have deemed it legal, arguing that it is comparable with other specialty plates, such as "Fight Terrorism" in Virginia or plates displaying a support of a particular sports team or your alma mater.

What the bleepin' F is the big deal? Sure, the government is making the plates, but you have to pay $25 to get the plate. I would think it was a big deal if I was forced to put this on my car to show support of this "Christian" nation. Some critics say that "what's next?"

"It's not a road I want to go down. I don't want to see the Star of David next. I don't want to see a Torah next. None of that stuff is appropriate to me," said Skidmore, a Democrat who voted against the plate in committee. "I just believe that."

If it's not "appropro" for you, sir, don't buy the plate. I'm sure if no one wants to buy the plate, the government will stop making them. However, we have to realize this is a very religious nation, of ALL sorts of religions even pedophilic polygamy sects.

Am I ignorant? Am I an uber-religious member of the Roman Catholic Church? No and No. I feel ignorant because that's the world we live in right now. Religion is bad. On the contrary, religion gives people faith and yes this world is going to pots with shootings in Chicago and Philadelphia this past weekend, war in dozens of countries, and politicians who sleep with "elite" prostitutes. Why can't people have a freakin' cross or Star of David on their car? People can put all sorts of vulgarities on the back of their car.

Now don't, by all means, get me wrong. I love what this license plate advocates. However, would I want my kid seeing that? I would rather have a child see a cross or a Star of David.

Yes, this license plate is funny. Ha ha. But, this issue is funny as well. As in...it's bleeping F-ing ridiculous. And, this matter pretty much illustrates another reason why I hate the ACLU.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell. But, I can't keep my mouth shut.

2008-04-23T22:15:00.004-04:00

Back from a hiatus of blogging about the nothingness of the world. What was I doing? Good question. Aside from spending my weekends in a couch-coma watching reruns of General Hospital and One Life to Live on Soap Net (Channel 120) and toggling back and forth to old cycles of America's Next Top Model, I was basically doing nothing. Sure, I was attempting to mow the lawn. For the record, that's the actual lawn outside my house. Not the, well...yeah.

Alrighty, so what do I talk about? I have so much to say especially since I've been in a virtual TV-Food-Work coma for the past month and a half.

So, the Pennsylvania Primary happened. Watching the results on CNN (but really FoxNews) was basically the only worthwhile thing I watched. I'll admit that I started the campaign season, if you will, stomping for McCain. Yes, I am a log-cabin republicano. If the economy sucks, why get married? What should be the first thing on your mind is: how you gonna pay for your food, bitch? That's not the only reason. I want to own a gun.

As the weeks grew and I researched, I've become (yes) an Obama supporter. My friends who say I'm a closet Nazi may find that funny. Again, for the record, I'm not a closet Nazi. Nor, am I an out-of-the-closet Nazi. I'm not a Nazi. Nor is Obama. Do I have proof of this? No. Do you? Can you prove you're not a Nazi? "Oh, but I have several Jewish friends..." Yea, yea.

Of the two democratic nominees, he doesn't have the convoluted idea that you can just take thousands and thousands of troops out of a war that we started and say "Oops, sorry, our bad." The predecessor screwed up and that's what 's for lunch. So eat it.

A similar note on the war is Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Wikipedia can explain it for you ignoramuses.

"Don't ask, don't tell" is the common term for the U.S. military policy which implements Pub.L. 103-160 (10 U.S.C. § 654). Unless one of the numerous exceptions from 10 U.S.C. § 654(b) applies, the policy prohibits anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because it "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability." The act prohibits any homosexual bisexual person from disclosing his or her sexual orientation, or from speaking about any homosexual relationships, including marriages or other familial attributes, while serving in the United States armed forces. The policy also requires that as long as gay or bisexual men and women in the military hide their sexual orientation, commanders are not allowed to investigate their sexuality. The net effect of this policy is that the military does not take an official stance against gay or bisexual desire; one must engage in open homosexual acts to commit a punishable offense.

My favorite part of this: "demonstrating a propenite to engage in homosexual acts..."

Do I agree with this? Of course not. I have my own reason and that's because I thought of joining the Air Force in High School, but then decided to go to college. Now I'm seriously considering it. But look at me. Can I even remotely pass for a straight person? Gay men even think I'm a gay man.

Also, according to the Government Accountability Office enforcing this rule costs $95.1 million for training replacements for the 9,488 troops discharged from 1994 through 2003.

Wait. Hold on. Rewind for a slight segway. Our government has an accountability office? Meaning...there is an office holding our government accountable for something? That's what it sounds like. I'll wiki it later.

For a couple of years I've been reading up on this homophobic policy and it's mostly (through the grapevine, I am by no means a reliable military source) the upper echelon that supports the policy. The troops going out on the front line don't care who you bone or lick. They care about whether you're going to have their back. I guess this is what Bill Clinton had in mind: No one should care. But, now, the policy has turned into a "If you're not straight, you have no sexuality."
To retire from the armed forces you must serve 20 years. You must be government property for 20 years. Then, you get health benefits for yourself, your HETEROSEXUAL spouse, your heterosexually conceived children and their maybe heterosexually conceived children. If you're a (shhh) homosexual, your non-legal spouse (or domestic life partner, sorry) isn't recognized. Your artificial children don't benefit. Plus, gay people aren't allowed to reproduce because then we pass on our (shhh) gay blood onto our most likely gay children. Being an army wife is hard enough. Being the secret army (shhh) lover-who-you-cant-marry would be even harder.

Also, what bugs me...is that the government relaxes this policy during times of warfare. Damn, we're running out of straight people, bring in people who have convictions. Ok, damn, felons can't be trusted on the front line. FINE. Enlist the homosexuals.

I don't get it. If I was Iraq, I would be mad frightened of Rosie O'Donnell coming at me with an M16. She would be running at you. She can't fit in a tank.

What does this have to do with Obama? He (shhh) promises or pledges to reinstate those who have received a Dishonorable Discharge because they choose to be exactly and only who they truly are. He (shhhh) promises or pledges to get rid of this rule.

Does he want the gay vote? Probably. Should we give it to him? I am.

Hey dude, your cute baby face needs some hair

2008-04-12T22:08:00.002-04:00

So as I do every Saturday night, I reminisce about Penn's drag show in 2007 and how I wish I could have put on fake facial hair. I yearn to have another chance at those couple of hours of letting my alter-ego loose.

If you think it's strange that I think of this once a week, you may be amazed at the fact that in Japan there is a new trend. Shocked? You shouldn't be. Japan has always been on of the risk-takers in new fashion trends. This time it's for the Japanese men. If you're an Asian man or pre-pubescent lad, you'd understand.

Across the Pacific Ocean, men are going to work cleanly shaved or just naturally hairless (as most Asian men). After work and as their female counterparts "put on their face," these dudes apply fake facial hair.

It's all the rage. I would show you a link to a site that sells the products, Propia, Inc., but it's all in Japanese. Click here if you know Japanese.

For about 2,600 Yen ($26), not including shipping from Japan, you too can sport a nice dirt-stache.

TV of the second millenium

2008-04-07T19:51:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I haven't bought the iPod yet. I refuse to pay $500 for an iPod Touch especially since I'm in debt like most irresponsible 20-somethings are.

So, it's Monday and it's my day off. Aside from solely lying on the couch and watching The Riches and the latest episode of The Tudors, I got rid of a lot of emotional baggage. This is a blog, yes, but it's not a Bitch-log so that's left for my open diary.com. Just kidding. I haven't had one of those since high school. It was so 2K4.

Anyway, on my day of watching excessive amounts of "new millennium" television (quality tv, let me tell ya), I saw an ad on MTV. Yes, I was watching Parental Control and the sad part was that I had already seen that episode.

I saw a preview for Tila Tequila's A Shot of Love 2. Seriously? I will take that chick-a-dee, pick her up by her small bones and squash her with my thumb (or pinky).

Aside from that the fact that she's come to annoy me and mostly because she didn't pick Dani in the first season, SHE IS NOT GAY, she isn't even bisexual. She's what is known as closet straight (there's a new term for you). The only thing that I enjoy about her is that her music video is hot. I watch it on mute because her voice is a mixture of nails screeching on a black board and Styrofoam cacophony.

In other news, if you want to watch something worthwhile and fictional because the news is always worth your time, you should check out the second season of The Tudors and if you're cheap and don't have Showtime you could catch the second season of The Riches.

The Tudors airs Sundays on Showtime at 10pm. It stars Jonathan Rhys Myers (gorgeous Irish boy) as Henry the Eighth and Natalie Dormer as Ann Boleyn, the mistress King Henry left Queen Katherine for and led to numerous beheadings and the creation of the Church of England. Besides its appeal to massive history buffs like myself, if you're looking for sex appeal, this is the show to watch. One of the best things in this season though is Peter O'Toole playing Pope Paul III, Henry's enemy who refuses to give Henry a divorce to Katherine and also wouldn't mind if someone assassinated Lady Ann.

The Riches airs Tuesdays on FX at 10pm and stars one of my new favorite actors, Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver. It's about a family of American gypsies called "Travelers" that belong to an incestuous tribe of thieves and con-men. Need more reason to watch it? So in season 1 they are accidental accessories to a car accident slash murder of Doug and Shereen Rich, a wealthy lawyer and Dental hygienist in Louisiana. They were on their way to their new house in a gated community called Eden Falls. Who buys a house on the internet? Rich people and people that don't know people in Eden Falls. So the Travelers, Wayne and Dahlia Malloy take the place of the Riches. Oh my God, I just got the title of the show. Someone is bound to figure out who they are and what they did, right? Basically they just kill whoever finds out or questions them. Not really, that's only sometimes the case. This family slowly becomes caught in their own web of lies and starts to wonder what is fiction and what is real. I know that that's happened to me on many occasions.

I need to go now because I'm watching cycle 6 of America's Next Top Model for the 9823674283 time. For some reason I still hope for Jade to win.

Osama may want to kill me

2008-03-26T00:30:00.005-04:00

What I do not get, the better word being fathom, is the overdoing of the old Apple iPod ads. I loved it when Apple ran those ads, but I hate it when other companies do.

Like this one for instance. When do people in Israel have iPods?

That might make me sound anti-semetic, so I'm going to say this: When do people in Palestine have iPods?

That might make me sound anti-Muslim and Bin Laden will kill me, so I'm going to say this:
When do gays, prostitutes, women, and African-Americans have iPods?

I'm not going to continue, because gays, prostitutes, women, and African-Americans normally do have iPods.

Sucks for Israel and Palestine, except for the fact that Israel is probably bustling with iPods during World Gay Pride Weekend when all the gays come to the West Bank. Oh wait...who owns the West Bank?

I like this one though.

SanDisk is saying that the iPod is unoriginal and people who buy iPods are followers and just apes.

I agree, but I'm buying an iPod next week, nor do I mind being called an ape. I only aim to live up to my forefathers way back in the day. Ya know, because we are descendants from monkeys? Got it? Ok, good. Osama is really going to kill me and Huckabee is going to come by my house and talk my ear off.

A Horror Story / Educated Sex Offenders

2008-03-19T07:42:00.005-04:00

Ok, ever since my coworker told me this story about this guy who was in the army, I did what everyone does: compare it to my own life.

So, this guy was gone for about 3 years on a tour of duty. He comes home and everyone else's family is aboard the welcome-home wagon. His wife and kids were supposed to come down. In fact, he called a friend of his wife's and confirms that she was planning on coming to greet him. They've also been web-camming back and forth for months. So, he saw her practically every day.

By now he has been waiting for around two hours and he's the only one left. He takes a cab to his car or something and drives to Tennessee. The wife and kids who were living with her parents apparently stopped living there. A neighbor informs him that she got an apartment downtown. He goes to the apartment, knocks on the door with arms wide open.

A stunned wife opens the door and the kids yell "Daddy is home!" Oh, and did I mention, there's another man in there? The first words that come out of the woman's mouth are: I want a divorce. Not even a "Hey! What's up, dude? See here's the thing, we need to talk. How about you rest since you've been travelling and drove all the way to Tennessee and we can talk later. Oh, the other guy? He's just a friend." Later, you can explain who the dude is. She didn't tell him until then because $4,0000 a month from his monthly pay check for three years (~$144,000)was going towards her clothes, utilities for this apartment, rent for the apartment, and a brand new car.

Now, what would I have done? If I was in the military, I couldn't hit him, but once I retired "BAM!" that guy would literally be dead in 20 years. If I wasn't in the military, that guy would be dead on the spot. And, the wife...Well, I don't normally condone bitch slapping women, but this bitch needs a slap. Also, I'd be mad if there was another guy in there because I'm a lesbian and would probably be dating a woman of the homosexual persuasion. The guy didn't do anything. He was mad, I'll give him that, but he left without a scene and went drinking with his buddies. The only thing he is truly mad at (and I would be too) is that his kids are probably confused about this guy who is living with their mom.

In other news, I'm watching Fox News like I do every day. Sex offenders are going to be getting grants to pay for a college education. I'm going broke over here trying to help my parents pay for school and my former stupidities. Also, we're going to pay for sex offenders to be at our schools? They should apply to my school. Apparently sex offenders are getting some sort of affirmative action here.

"There is no evidence that teaching calculus to a sex offender [will change them]" - Congressman from Florida.

Missing the thumpa-thumpa

2008-03-16T19:24:00.010-04:00

I never realized why grown-ups don't party. Of course, it was easy for me to party every day of the week when I was the biggest bum on the face of this planet. I came home Saturday at 2:30pm after working from 7am and fell asleep. My allergies had a bit to do with it, but still. I miss the thumpa-thumpa, or gay heart beat, of the dance floor. Dare I say it? I miss Woody's in Philadelphia a little bit.

Moving on...

Love this comfy leather chair. This is the chair I passed out on for 10 hours yesterday after work. Pretty lame.

Black faded H&M L.O.G.G. jeans. Last weekend I wore them to work and then went into DC for Ruby Tuesday (not so fabulous) where I smoked cigarettes inside and drank muchos beers. Drove up and down the metro pretty drunkenly happy. My tolerance is not what it used to be.

Yes, I confess, I'm also more than a little bit obsessed with button-up shirts. Especially ones with maroon pin-stripes.

My new shoes! I bought them at the diesel store and couldn't resist.

Price: H&M L.O.G.G. Jeans, $39.99; H&M Button-up Shirt, $45.00; Diesel Shoes, $93.99

Gay-for-Pay

2008-03-09T21:30:00.007-04:00

Would you go "Gay-for-Pay"? This could mean a variety of things. For instance, you could be a heterosexual male working as a dancer at the gayest of the gay bars, but it pays well and gay men stick dollar bills in your banana hammock. Or you can be chased around by a lesbian billionaire heiress and decide that maybe being a lesbian isn't the worst of ideas.

I mean, I'm already gay, so I can't really go Gay-for-Pay. But, that begs the question: Would you queers out there go Straight-for-Pay?

The first thing I would ask is "Would I have to sleep with it?" I would feel too Ana Nicole Smith or something to that effect. But, if I was straight, I would go Gay-for-Pay. I would become a gay man for pay, definitely. They have the best taste and I would reap the benefits from that.

As I look back, I know of very many hot straight women that I wish would go Gay-for-Pay for me, provided that I had the money. Then again, I would need to not spend the money on just myself.

This all happened and came into question when a "heterosexual" friend of mine thought she had a lesbian billionaire heiress as a Missed Connection on Craigslist. Of course, it was all my fault and I was just kidding around. She, however, was considering going Gay-for-Pay. Interesting. Richard Branson, do you have a gay daughter?

The Moment of Truth...

2008-03-05T21:24:00.000-05:00

Warning: There may or may not be a Project Runway Finale spoiler at the very end.

Now, someone described my blog as "It shows how much you like things." Who doesn't? Well, Ghandi. Even Jesus, I would like to believe, liked things. He had his fashion forward Birkenstocks and cotton (or something) robe. Those are things. I give Gandhi credit for the Spartan use of the diaper and small-rimmed glasses.

So, steering away from things, and specifically H&M, I will assume to blog about something else.

As you may have noticed, I watch a lot of TV. I must say though that this is changing (only slightly) since I have a job now. Yay me.

I was watching TV not even ten minutes ago and was so disgusted with what I saw. I left the room. I never leave the room. The Moment of Truth stupified my brain so badly that I was too dumb to just pick up the remote and change the channel. However, I do know that once I try to change the channel I will find nothing worthwhile on TV until 10pm when the Project Runway finale is on.

Anyway, let's get back to The Moment of Truth. What self-respecting human being would go on that show? If you go on that show, you don't respect your loved ones at all. You don't have the guts to tell them these very secrets in person, but you're going to humiliate them on TV for a chance $500,000. That's not even a million dollars, guys. Seriously. One question just now was "Do you think you're a better mother than your mother?" And the mother was sitting right there. If I believe the answer to this question to be 'Yes,' I would say no. Is humiliating your mother worth it? Is making her cry on television worth it? Most importantly, is breaking her heart worth it? The same goes with regards to the spouses, the partners, the betrothed, etc. Also, you know she's never going to cook you home-cooked meals ever again. Not worth it.

It all comes down to whether you belong in Gamblers Anonymous. It may not be Poker, Black Jack, or Russian Roulette...You're still gambling away your life as it has come to be whether you like it or not. You're gambling away your self-respect.

You're gambling, or should I say risking, important relationships. If you want to really and truly hurt the people you love, go for it. Go on the show. But if you really truly do love them, you'd turn off the TV, blog, walk your dog for twenty minutes and come home just in time to hopefully see Rami win Project Runway.

Make no mistake, the next blog will have something to do with clothes...maybe not H&M, but I get a big fat paycheck soon.

Edit: Deeply saddened by Rami not winning. However, with Jillian losing as well, it proves that bland personality, ueber-curls, and overalls are out. Thank you for that at the very least, Heidi.

Merino Wool and Damn Europe

2008-02-29T08:01:00.001-05:00

I can't believe that I just said that. After all, I am part Dutch and have lived in Vienna, Austria for a good deal of time. Don't get me wrong. And, don't make this out to be an un-patriotic rant by man-hating lesbian because I am neither of those, well except for the...you know.

At this moment in time, I am confused. Why does Finland, Denmark, Austria, Holland, (etc) have H&M online shopping? Why did I just find this out? Why is the word "sweatshirt" also "sweatshirt" in German? It should be Schwitzhemd. Just saying.

Now, I realize I talk a lot about H&M. I am as of now their unofficial representative to you.

Moving on...

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, starring Matthew Perry (my favorite Friend) and Amanda Peet (The Whole Nine Yards), is this witty new show that has occupied my computer for the past couple of days. It takes place behind the scene of a fictional comedy sketch show similar to Saturday Night Live and the network, National Broadcasting System. I'm just now getting to the part with the heavy drug use and I was able to see that story line coming from the very first intro. Aside from the fact that it depicts "deviant" behavior, the story is clever and the dialogue is sharp. Sharp as in "Ooooh, cuts like warm butter." Whereas Private Practice is sharp as in find me a sharp knife to slice off my ears so that I don't have to listen anymore.

Yes, I do watch a lot of TV. If you don't, then you're overworked and live in a cool place. I'm stuck in Suburbia for 4 more months. Excellent. Give me a break. But, Suburbia has malls and malls have H&M. See how I just did that? We went back to my favorite topics, H&M and me.

So yesterday I had an interview and my mom didn't say any hateful words as I picked out my outfit.

Price: H&M Green, I mean "Olive" Button-up Shirt, $35.00; Black leather belt, $7.50; Grey pleated pants with black and blue pintstripes, $54.50

Price: H&M Black and Grey Argyle Merino Wool Sweater, $39.95

So, yes, the interview was yesterday, and I took these pictures today at 8:30am. I just needed any excuse to put the clothes back on.

An Ode to H&M

2008-02-26T10:37:00.000-05:00

Actually what exactly is an ode? Wiki says:

An ode (Classical Greek: ὠδή) is a form of stately and elaborate lyrical verse. A classic ode is structured in three parts: the strophe, the antistrophe, and the epode. Different forms such as the homostrophic ode and the irregular ode also exist.

Homostrophic is an amazing word. It feels like a blend between Jack MacFarland and a natural catastrophe.

This particular ode is more of a visual ode. It comes in three parts: the bottom layer, the first layer and then the warm fuzzy layer. Scared yet?

Long-sleeve shirt with thick black and white stripes. Makes a skinny little me look wider.

Price: $20.00; Yorkshire Terrier not included.

Price: H&M Belt, $6.70; Banana Republic Jeans, $54.50

Black button-up shirt with grey pinstripes

Price: $29.99

For some reason, I couldn't resist buying this grey sweater vest. I think I'm going to need to bulk before I wear this out in public.

Price: $39.99

OurChart

2008-02-25T10:20:00.000-05:00

This morning I watched the latest episode of the L Word. Then I decided to expand upon my profile from OurChart.com. That's right, I may only have one friend and zero friend pluses (girlfriends, hookups, one-night stands, benefits, etc), but that means squat. The original University of Pennsylvania chart is here in my bedroom in a notebook, with a small appendix to Bryn Mawr. No, don't worry, I'm not going to divulge any juicy details. What's the point of having this technology, if no one has signed up for it? This, ladies and queens, is a crime. Right now I'm basically committed to inviting my "Friend Pluses" to the site so that I don't look like a Puritanical loser. If you knew me, you'd know that's a farse.

Now, another crime is that H&M doesn't have online shopping. How am I supposed to sit at home and buy stuff online if I can't? I recently applied to H&M (meaning a couple hours ago). My reasoning being that I would save thousands of dollars in employee discounts. It's true. My closet is an H&M showroom. On Friday, I recently bought some things from there. Just a few.

And because H&M has very limited amounts of images of their collection...You'll have to imagine me in everything they sell.

My only other qualm with H&M is that their Manassas Mall store has no Men's Department. Where is a genderbending gal supposed to shop? I have to drive 20-30 minutes to get to my version of Meccah.

But, I do want to buy this blazer...
And maybe if I get a job at H&M I could afford it. I mean I could scrape up the money, max out my credit card, but that's the old me.

Also, I had to post this picture up. Every lesbian or androgynous woman needs a good black button up shirt accented with a skinny white tie. A lesbian can never own too many ties. They're not only cute and a great accessory. They are also an amazing foreplay tool.
But, look at this picture real closely for a second. Is that me? I could swear that that's me looking all male-modelesque.

Price: Blazer, $49.99; Black Shirt + Tie, $39.95

A night at the Oscars

2008-02-25T00:35:00.000-05:00

And the Oscar goes to...Barely anyone that I chose. Seriously, where are these Academy Awards betting pools I heard so much about? I always have had a soft spot for losing money. Did anyone in Hollywood watch Atonement? Didn't think so. Who am I to expect anyone to want to watch Keira Knightly in a perfect green dress? James McAvoy's feminine mystique makes me want to switch teams. The script. Uhhhh. I'm swooning in my swivel chair.

I'm not the usual perp when it comes to tearing up during a movie. By the end of Atonement I was trying to discreetly wipe away the vast amounts of flowing tears streaming down my cheeks. Does this make me a romantic? Perhaps.

I told myself earlier today that I was not going to quote a movie in this blog unless absolutely necessary...This time it's necessary. I'm about to cry simply thinking about this movie.

Cecilia Tallis: I love you. I'll wait for you. Come back. Come back to me.

Robbie Turner:The story can resume. I will return. Find you, love you, marry you and live without shame.

Tear.

One thing that I can take away is that the Bourne Ultimatum won at least something. Those petty handouts will not keep my satiated. I also don't understand how the gorgeously and fabulously beautiful Cate Blanchett walked away with nothing. That woman has a hurricane brewing inside of her and it deserves an Oscar, damnit.

Julianne, commented on the last entry and said she is banging her head on the table because I'm being nonsupporting of the writers' strike. I'm a consumer. I like to consume. And, when all I have to consume are reruns and reality shows that have grown (dare I say it) even more tasteless...I would like to say come on, write! And, yes I would like to call myself an artist, but a true artist (like the writers call themselves) doesn't give a shit about money. In the world of punk rock, that's called selling out. I myself am proud of the fact that I pursue a career of selling out and moneys.

Price: 3 hours I'll never get back waiting for Atonement to win something.

2008-02-24T18:23:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a year off from the hassles and stress of an ivy-league education and living at home in DC. However, this implies that school was in the least bit stressful. That would imply that I went to class, read the textbooks that I bought, and took the exams. Instead of doing all those things that a good student should do, I went clubbing, shopping, restaurant-ing, movie theater-ing...and spent the rest of the time at home on the couch playing video games, watching tv, and movies. They say that the gay community has a higher indispensable income because we can't reproduce offspring, and yet we still find a way to do so.

Now the best entertainment is always free (but not the most luxurious) and with my new computer I've taken to watching TV shows online again. One show that's caught my eye is FX's Dirt with Courtney Cox. This isn't a must-see, but it's definitely a must-check-out-at-least-once.

FX shows have become an obsession starting with Nip/Tuck. Initially a bit rough, Dirt won me over with Courtney Cox's hotness and the twisted story plots, especially Lucy Spiller's (Cox) schizophrenic best friend and main photographer Don. Sometimes I feel bad for Lucy, the editor-in-chief of DirtNow, a tabloid. The rest of the 99% of the time I can't believe the stunts she pulls actually could work out in the real world.

Season 2 is starting up next weekend, March 2nd on FX at 10pm Eastern Time. Do yourself a favor and check it out. Maybe then I'll have someone with whom I can talk about the show. Come on, people.

On a more recent matter (more like in less than one and a half hours), the Oscars start. Aside from the fact that the stupid writer's strike may have crapped this one up, I'm looking forward to seeing Atonement with Keira Knightley and James McAvoy win big. I'll be back to blog after the show to rant or rave.

Price: Free (Cable subscription not included)

Connected to the world again...

2008-02-24T15:48:00.000-05:00

In this day and age, how does anyone live without their own personal laptop? I know you've probably never thought about this, but some people don't have computers. Luckily, I no longer belong to that lower level of humanity. Of course since my laptop was stolen at the Olive Garden in Philadelphia (1346 Chestnut Street) and by one of their good-for-nothing employees, I've had to live without one.

Last week, I got a brand new Dell.
And with my purchase, or my mom's money, I was able to give a small percentage to help fight the AIDS epidemic in Africa. That's right. I'm here now, writing about luxuries such as a high-tech laptop, and someone in Africa is suffering from AIDS.

Dell and Windows will contribute $80 for every XPS ONE (PRODUCT) RED sold, which pays for over 6 months of life preserving anti-retroviral medication for a person living with AIDS in Africa. Dell and Windows will contribute $50 for every (PRODUCT) RED notebook sold, which pays for nearly 4 months of life preserving anti-retroviral medication for a person living with AIDS in Africa. Dell will also make a contribution of $5 for every 948 All-in-One (PRODUCT) RED printer sold, which is 11 days of life-preserving anti-retroviral medication for a person living with AIDS in Africa.

Basically if you don't get the XPS One (PRODUCT) RED, you're cheating someone out of $30 of life-saving medication and possibly 2 months of healthy living. Hmm. But, that's better than nothing, no?

Did I mention that I'm hella excited to play Assassin's Creed on my XPS starting April 8, 2008?

Price: Dell, $1,149 (starting price) including $50 of good will for helping an AIDS sufferer out; Assassin's Creed for PC, $49.99 on amazon.com.